


Underappreciated and forgotten Stiles

by Jaxon307



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Angry Stiles Stilinski, Ashamed Lydia, Ashamed Pack, Ashamed Scott, F/M, POV First Person, POV Multiple, Post season 3a, scott isn't a great friend, supportive sherriff, underappreciated stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-01 02:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18791020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaxon307/pseuds/Jaxon307
Summary: A few weeks after the sacrifices, Stiles is not in a great place and is barely hanging on. His best friend is leaving him behind, the pack does nothing but insult him, and the girl he loves hasn't spoken to him in weeks and is avoiding him. When they all forget the most important day of the year, the anniversary of his Mother's death, and try to mess with him on the wrong day, he snaps.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction, so take it easy on me! 
> 
> I know that some of the characters may be out of character slightly or not act the way the would normally, but it is all intentional to further the story. 
> 
> I know Scott is a better friend than this, but he had to be this way for the story to work 
> 
> I don't own the show
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

**Stiles POV**

I always knew this would happen.

Doesn’t make it any easier though.

I knew that eventually Scott would meet someone and would leave me in the dust.

I was getting closer to Lydia, but after the panic attack kiss and emotional tether stuff, she is barely talking to me outside of Pack meetings.

_ The pack. _

I do not know why I even still bother going if I am being completely honest with myself, I just get in the way, I barely contribute anything, and I do nothing but find new topics to research for people who don’t really care.

But I know that I am still going to go because those people are the only things close to friends I got, so if being looked down on, yelled at, degraded, ignored, is the only way to hold onto all my friends, especially my best friend, then that is what I am gonna do.

I hear my phone buzz on my nightstand, so I get up from my spot on my desk that has various textbooks and ignored homework assignments on it and move to grab my phone.

_ Hopefully that’s Scott saying he is on his way. _

Tomorrow is…

It is still hard to think about it.

No matter how many years go by, it is always the hardest day of the year.

I take a deep breath, trying to rid my eyes of the tears that threaten to spring out of my eyes.

Scott has always come over the night before and we would watch movies until we pass out, then the next morning, me, Scott and my Dad would go to her grave to visit. Afterwards me and Scott would go to school for the rest of the day because that is what she would want me to do and she made me promise to do so.

I get to my phone and look at the message that appears on my screen.

My heart drops as I read, as does my phone.

_ Hey Stiles, I know we had plans to hang out tonight just the two of us but me, Allison, Isaac and Lydia made plans to head to a movie. Your welcome to come and join! _

I shouldn’t be surprised that he cancelled.

All the signs are there that he is leaving me behind and this just adds to the list.

But that doesn’t make the hurt any less.

The pit in my stomach growing larger and my anger boiling.

If I was a werewolf I would have turned by now, but instead I just grab one of the extra pillows from my bed and send it flying into my wall. The soft thump as it hits and falls to floor, does nothing to quell the anger I feel coursing through my body, if anything the lack of damage increasing my anger.

I bend over and pick up my phone and send  _ You go to your movie _ back to him before shakily setting my phone back on the nightstand.

His response is instantaneous, and I pick up the phone back up.

_ It might be good for you to get out. _

I scoff at the phone before shutting it off, no longer interested in talking to anyone, especially him.

I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling as the tears start to drip from my eyes onto cheeks and the anger and sadness is replaced by a feeling of betrayal.

_ I officially have no one that cares about me, no one to turn to, no one that would care if I don’t leave this house for a week. _

I think about ending it sometimes, it would make everything hurt a lot less, but then I think about my Dad and I know I could never do that to him. He already lost his wife; he doesn’t deserve to lose his son to.

The tears continue to flow as the feeling of betrayal seems determined to become a permanent resident in inside my stomach.

I´m not sure if Scott forgot what day it was or remembered and didn’t care.

I’m not entirely sure which one is worse.

I eventually pass out on the bed, exhausted by the emotions of the day and wake to the sound of the front door being closed.

I sit up and look at the clock and it reads 11:27.

I get up and exit my room to see my dad walking down the hallway towards his room. He turns to look at me and has a question in his eyes.

“I didn’t wake you guys, did I?” he asks glumly, he too feeling the emotions of the tomorrow.

I frown at the assumption and he picks up on it.

“You did, but it’s alright, not like I was doing anything,” I say back to him.

“Where’s Scott?” he asks though based on his expression he knows the answer.

Hearing the question though makes the entire situation worse and tears start to flood my eyes again.

I wipe them with my hand before they can escape.

“I think it is just going to be the two of us tomorrow morning.” I almost whisper to him.

He nods and embraces me in a hug.

We stay there for a few seconds, hoping the sadness will go away, but knowing it won’t.

“I’m sorry bud,” he says as he backs up.

“It’s not your fault,” I say back to him. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

With that we both turn and go to our rooms. I plop down on the bed again and I feel my eyelids start to droop again.

_ I should probably check my phone in case there is an emergency with the pack. _

I roll over and turn my phone back on and am unsurprised to see no new messages waiting for me.

I decide to scroll through my Social Media because apparently, I need to be reminded of all of the people, I know who are out having some fun on this Thursday night.

I scroll for a few minutes before I get to a picture posted by Scott from earlier tonight.

The feeling of betrayal that already feels like it is consuming me grows in my stomach and I feel like I might physically throw up.

It is a picture of Scott, Allison, Isaac, and Lydia all arms wrapped around each other, all with big smiles on their faces. That would be hard to see normally but after today and tomorrow being what it is, the tears start to flow down my face again, this time faster and harder.

Just when the tears seem to have subsided, I look back at the photo but this time I glance at the caption at the bottom of the screen, and the phone slides from my hands onto my chest with a thud.

_ Great night out with the best friends anyone could hope for. _

Officially replaced.

I throw my phone across the floor and I hear the small thud as it gently hits the wall.

Sobs fully wrack my body and tears flow freely.

I eventually fall asleep, my body in a ball, on top of the covers. My body too exhausted to move or do anything else.

* * *

 

 

**Scott POV**

I feel like I am forgetting something as I step off of my bike and get ready to walk into the school.

I smile as I think about the night before, it is always nice to do normal teenager things, getting a night off from the constant crazy that is their life.

I feel bad for canceling on Stiles, especially since I haven’t been the greatest friend lately, but I’m sure he understands.

We have had years just the two of us.

I’m sure he gets that I am going to enjoy the fact that we have an actual friend group and the fact that I have a girlfriend, and it is not always going to be able to be just the two of us.

I was surprised that he didn’t want to come out with us, especially since Lydia was coming.

But when I said that Stiles wasn’t coming to the group, Lydia seemed to breath a big sigh of relief.

I looked at Allison when it happened and she just shrugged, indicating that she didn’t know what happened and Lydia wasn’t talking, which wasn’t a big surprise.

I look around the parking lot for the blue Jeep that everyone in Beacon Hills knows.

I know I should apologize to him and he will probably just shrug it off like he always does.

There has never been anyone better at rolling with the punches than Stiles.

_ He usually beats me here, hmmm, must just be running a little behind. _

I get off the bike and make my way into the school.

I stop at my locker grab my stuff for coaches class then make my way to Allison’s locker.

We smile at each other as I approach. My heartbeat raises as I get closer to it. She shuts her locker and we set off in the direction of coaches class hand in hand.

“You see Stiles yet?” she asks, knowing that I was probably wanting to talk to him today.

_ It’s amazing how well she knows me. _

“No, he isn’t here yet,” almost on cue the bell rings. “I texted him this morning, but he hasn’t responded, maybe he isn’t feeling good.”

We get to coaches class and Lydia is already seated, Allison sits behind her and I sit next to Allison.

She is doodling on her notebook and barely acknowledges our presence.

Coach then stands and starts to call out role. When he gets to Stiles, the room falls to silence since the normally energetic Stiles is not there to answer. He looks up at me when the silence stretches on for a few seconds.

“McCall, where’s Stilinski?” he shouts at me.

“I don’t know coach, haven’t heard from him.”

“Ohhh Wait, yeah,  I’m surprised you’re here actually McCall, isn’t today…?” Coach trails off, leaving me confused.

“Is today what Coach?” I ask extremely confused.

I look at Allison who just shrugs as equally confused by the question as I am.

“I must have my dates wrong,” he says and then moves into the lecture.

As he turns, Lydia looks back at me asking me a silent question, but I just shrug again as I have no idea what Coach is referring to or where Stiles could be.

I try to stay focused on class, but coaches comment is still rattling around in my head and the feeling like I am forgetting something comes back, but even stronger this time.

As the day progresses Stiles still doesn’t show up and I start to get worried.

I don’t have every class with him, but we always find each other between classes.

Every period I look, but Stiles is nowhere to be found and he is still not picking up his phone.

Lunch rolls around and still no sign of Stiles and my worry increases and is getting to a dangerous, leave school to find him level.

I text him again, but I have given up on hoping on getting a reply.

I chat with Isaac for a few minutes about where the hell Stiles could be, but he has as little of clue as I do. 

Getting more and more worried, I decide to text his dad.

_ Have you heard from Stiles today, he isn’t at school. _

I wait a couple seconds then my phone buzzes in response.

_ He’ll be there in a few minutes. _

The reply is short and to the point, which is not unlike him but even through text it still feels a little weird, like there is an underlying message I am forgetting.

But if his Dad knows where it is, then he should be fine.

The bell rings and me and Lydia head to our next class, which we normally share with stiles.

When we get there Stiles isn’t in the room yet, so we take our spots towards the back like we always do.

Just before the bell rings Stiles comes walking slowly in the door.

I first feel relief at the sight of him, but then I look at him and he looks horrible.

Not like sick horrible, but as if he has no energy whatsoever.

He looks back and we make eye contact, but his eyes darken a little bit before he plops down in the very first row without a word or a gesture or any acknowledgement of my existence.

Based on that interaction alone, you would think that we have never met.

Like we haven’t known each other for over 10 years.

I know that he has had a tough go of it since the whole sacrifice thing, especially since his emotional tether hasn’t spoken to him in weeks. Me and Allison definitely have had our moments where we have a tough go of it, but we had each other to pull us back.

Deaton and Cora might have held us under the water, but we were each other’s tethers.

We had each other to cling to.

Stiles didn’t have that.

The closest thing he might have had was me and I have kind of left him these past few weeks to fend for himself, trying to focus on getting myself and Allison right.

He must be mad I ditched him last night.

_ But how would that force him to miss over half a day of school. _

I look over at Lydia and she looks to be in deep thought, and I can smell worry on her. She glances over and she asks me a silent question with her eyes, again.

_ What is going on? _

I just shrug hoping to convey my own concern back to her and we both turn back towards the front so we can pretend to be thinking about class when we are both actually thinking about Stiles.

At the end of class, Stiles is up and out of his seat so quickly that neither of us have time to go talk to him.

I look at Lydia and her worry is shown plain on her features.

We are the last two in the class as we finish packing our things. The silence is hard to sit in but neither of us say a thing, not wanting to at that moment to confront what we both are thinking.

When we exit the classroom, we turn in opposite directions and go our separate ways.

As my last period winds down, I ask my teacher if I can leave two minutes early so, I can make sure that Stiles doesn’t run off without me having the chance to talk to him first.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with the idea as Lydia is already standing there as I approach.

We don’t say anything to each other again, we just stand there in anxious silence waiting for the bell to mark the end of the day.  

The bell rings and students started spilling out of the classrooms and into the hallway.

I see Stiles down the hall exit his class immediately after the bell but comes to an immediate stop when he sees the two of us standing at his locker.

I can see the internal struggle of debating if he really needs his backpack or if he can just take off without.

_ How mad can he possibly be? What could he be so mad about that has him wanting to avoid us entirely? _

* * *

 

 

**Stiles POV**

I see Scott and Lydia standing at my locker and the confrontation I was hoping to put off looks like it is inevitable.  

It had been a long day.

It always is.

I slept but didn’t rest at all, I was exhausted when I got out of bed.

I woke up every couple minutes until I got up and made breakfast around 6.

Me and Dad ate in near silence, neither wanting to break the unstable peace for fear that only tears would be beyond it.

I get a text from Melissa while we are getting ready to go saying she sends her love and a reassuring message about staying strong.

_ At least someone remembers. _

We leave the house around eight, it is weird to not have Scott here.

His usual calming presence is what makes this day easier, but without, the car feels almost empty.

We stop at the diner to grab some hot chocolate, like we always do.

It was mom’s favorite drink.

After a short drive we get to the cemetery.

Entering the cemetery was hard as always but it is always rewarding to see her, so after a few minutes of silently staring at the entrance sign we head in.

We stay for a couple hours telling some stories, laughing lightly at my stupidity in those stories, crying, and just talking to her.

_ It always is so calming being in her presence again. _

By the time we decide to leave it is 11am and I have to get back to school even though all I want to do is go home crawl in bed and try to sleep.

_ Sleep without any nightmares at least. _

I haven’t gotten any restful sleep since before the sacrifices, and even before then I wasn’t sleeping like a baby.

But she would want me at school so we go home so I can grab my bag.

As we are about to go to our separate cars and head to work and school respectively, I hear my Dad call my name.

“You want to grab some lunch before you head to school?”

I smile at him and he smiles back.

“Is that even a question?”

He laughs.

Soon we are at the local burger joint, and for the first time all day, or for a while actually, I am not sad or hurting or worried about the dark stain surrounding my heart. I just have a good, fun, light lunch with my father.

No supernatural.

Horrible best friends.

Absent emotional tethers.

Or haunting nightmares.

Just a normal fun-filled lunch with my Dad and it feels incredible.

We are wrapping up lunch when Dad’s phone buzzes.

He looks at the screen and lets out a disbelieving, angry laugh.

I raise my eyebrow at him in question and he turns the phone towards me shows me the screen.

The laugh that escapes my lips mirrors my Dad’s.

“Hey, at least they realize I’m gone, that’s a good thing!” I say sarcastically.

He lets out a small sad laugh before typing out a response.

“What did you say?” I ask.

“That you would be there in a few minutes.”

“That’s more civil than I thought your answer might be,” I say trying for humor but knowing that Dad is feeling a sense of betrayal just like I am.

“That’s because I don’t have to look him in the eyes, if I had to do that, it would be a different story.”

“Speaking of which, I better go so I can get there for the last couple classes, see you later. Love You!”

“Alright don’t do something stupid,” he says knowing I have remained calm today for his sake but when I see Scott it might boil over.

The feeling of betrayal still lingering in my body.

“I’m too tired to do anything stupid,” I respond, which is true. “I’ll see you when you get home, if I’m not asleep by then.”

“Then hopefully, I won’t see you.”

He nods and I exit the building and get into the Jeep.

The entire drive to the school, I am trying to push and contain my emotions, so I don’t look like a zombie at school, but I’m not sure it is working.

When I pull into the school parking lot, the full effect of my exhaustion hits me. Along with dread, fearing seeing Scott, Lydia, Allison, or anyone really.

I walk towards my next class, knowing that both Scott and Lydia will also be in there. Lydia will probably just huff in exasperation just because I look her way if how she has been treating me recently is any indication. And Scott will probably pretend he is worried for me.

I walk through the halls, some students giving me odd looks. I know that I must look like a wreck.

_ I definitely feel like one _ I think as I enter the class just as the bell rings. I look around the class a little before my eyes settle on Scott’s.

I don’t feel anger.

I don’t feel betrayal.

I don’t even feel sadness.

I just feel tired.

Tired from a lack of sleep.

Tired from the increasing number of nightmares.

Tired from dealing with all the shit the supernatural world pulls me through.

Tired from always being flat out underappreciated by everyone.

Tired of friends that don’t care to help me through my worst.

And tired from not one of them looking at me long enough to see I’m struggling.

The look in his eyes conveys the fake worry and concern I thought they would, and I know he will want answers for where I have been and why I look like I do.

But if he were actually my friend, he would know why already.

But obviously that is not true.

My eyes go to Lydia for a second and I see the same look as Scott, fake worry and concern, which the fact that she does that is a step up on how she has treated me lately, but I just turn and plop down in the seat closest to the door. I do not have the energy for the conversation they will want to have.

I stare ahead at the wall the whole class, not having the energy to listen or take in any of the information that the teacher is presenting.

As soon as the bell rings marking the end of the period, I bolt out the door. I am not going to give them the chance to even attempt to have that conversation.

I succeed in my exit the first time. But when I step out of my last class to see the two of them standing by my locker, I have to stop myself from turning and walking in the opposite direction because the last thing I want to listen to is there fake concern.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of putting my keys in my bag, which is in my locker, so I need my backpack.

So, I steel myself for the oncoming conversation, hoping to get through it with as little yelling as possible. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott goes to Stiles for answers, but leaves more confused than before

# 

**Scott POV**   


I see Stiles set his face in an emotionless expression and start to make his way towards us.

It is a face I have seen only a few times on him. I rarely see it pointed at anyone, and even fewer times at me. It is the worst one to be on the receiving end of from Stiles, because he can be a stone wall when he wants to be.

As he gets closer, he walks directly to his locker right beside us and pretends we aren’t even there.

I am at a loss for words.

“Stiles are you alright? I have been texting and calling you all day?”

He lets out a small laugh at the question.

“I don’t need your fake sympathy alright,” he responds.

_ Fake!! _

Fake?

Lydia is speechless beside me when I glance at her hoping for help, but she remains stunned, which is saying something.

“Fake? What do you mean fake?” I ask incredulously.

He doesn’t say anything just grabs his backpack, shuts his locker and turns to face us.

“I get your mad that I had to cancel yesterday but I didn’t think you would be this angry. Is there something else? Why are so mad?”

He lets out an emotionless laugh. His face is stone cold, no emotion in it whatsoever, his heartbeat steady.

“You know why.”

His voice as cold as ice.

“Because I cancelled?”

He lets out another emotionless laugh.

“That’s part of it.”

“Then what’s all of it?”

“I tell you what, when you realize why I am so angry, like I know you will, you come let me know, because I know that  _ both _ of you know why, you two probably just haven’t realized it yet.”

I am shocked again.

_ What could I have possibly done? _

The conversation is interrupted by Isaac coming running up to Scott.

“Derrick just texted me, he said pack meeting at his place in an hour,” Isaac says out of breath slightly, heartbeat raised.

Stiles uses this opportunity to slide by me and starts walking down the hallway.

“Are you gonna be there Stiles?” Isaac scream down the hallway, but Stiles keeps walking and doesn’t respond.

My brain is going a hundred miles an hour.

Trying to wrap my head around what Stiles said and trying to get my head back in it to be able to respond to Isaac.

After a couple of seconds, I come back into my head.

I glance at Lydia and she seems to be in her head as well trying to decipher Stiles’ code.

“Okay, I need to run home first then I’ll head over there,” I say to Isaac as Allison approaches the group.

“You talk to Stiles?” she asks.

“You could say that,” I say back quietly.  “Derrick says the pack meeting is at his place so we should head over there.”

Allison accepts the answer knowing that we will talk later so I can give her the explanation she is looking for. She turns to Lydia.

“Want me to follow you home so we can drop off your car and head over together?” she asks Lydia.

Lydia doesn’t respond at first still lost in her own head. Only when Allison says her name again does she come back to reality.

“Yeah, that sounds good, see you guys over there,” she says as her and Allison take off down the hallway.

I watch them walk away, Lydia still looking dazed.

I turn to head to my bike when Isaac stops me.

“Can you give me a ride?”

“How did you get here this morning?”

“I had some extra energy, so I ran.”

“You ran?”

“Yeah.”

I let out a breath than nod my head and we both set off to head back to my house, then to Derrick’s.

* * *

 

 

**Stiles POV**

The conversation went better than I expected.

No one yelled at each other.

Hooray I think sarcastically in my mind.

That was probably helped by the fact that Isaac came in.

I know I should probably go to the Pack meeting, but I have no intention of doing so.

I just want to go back to my bed and sleep.

But sitting in that house alone, with only my thoughts and my nightmares pressing in my mind, I’m not sure I can or want to go back there to that.

_ I should just drive somewhere for a while. _

I get in the jeep and pull out of the parking lot, heading I know not where.

_ Ice cream sounds good. _

There is a good Milkshake place a few towns over, I will just go there.

It will probably take me a couple hours with all the traffic and my own laziness, but it is as good of a time killer as any.

* * *

 

 

**Scott POV**

We arrive at the house on my bike, Isaac stays on the bike since I am just dropping off my stuff.

I open the door and come head into the living and throw my stuff on the couch, mom is in the kitchen eating and getting ready for her shift.

“Hey sweetie, how was your day?”

“It was okay, Stiles is mad at me and I don’t know why,” I say.

“Were you insensitive at all today?” she asks.

“I barely saw him at all today,” I say.

She looks shocked.

“What do you mean you barely saw him today,” she asks as if it is the most ridiculous thing in the world. “You slept over at his house last night, right?”

“I was going to, but I ended up going to the movies with Allison, Isaac, and Lydia. But Stiles didn’t come into school today until after lunch and when he did, he was as mad as I have ever seen him before,” I say.

She looks appalled, like I just said the hospital blew up with 50 kids in it.

“You ditched Stiles last night!”

I am shocked by how angry she is. I know that she might be disappointed in me but not this upset. I have only ever seen her this upset a few times in my life, and it is when I have done something so outrageous that I create a new level of stupidity.

“Yes,” I say cautiously, unsure if I wanted to continue. “He seemed okay with-it last night, not thrilled but not overly upset. Then when I talked to him about it today, he was super angry, and he said I should know what I did but that I hadn’t realized it yet.”

She laughed disbelievingly.

“You really are completely clueless aren’t you, you actually don’t realize what the problem is,” she says disbelievingly.

At this point I am done with the riddles and just want an answer.

“Yes, I am clueless, so you want to fill me in,” I say desperately to her throwing my hands up.

“No, I don’t think so, if you can’t think of it yourself, you do not deserve to be his friend.”

I stare at her confused and dumbfounded at her statement.

_ What could I have done that was so horrible? _

I stay in my stupor  until Isaac’s voice breaks my concentration.

“Scott! We got to go!”

I look at her apologetically.

“We have a pack meeting, so I have to go,” I say quietly, almost a whisper as she stares at me as I walk out, without saying another word.

I approach the bike and get on.

I’m sure my confusion is showing all over my face as I walk towards the bike, my mind again going 100mph.

“You okay? You have a weird look on your face” Isaac asks as I climb on.

I don’t respond, just get out the keys and put them in the ignition and take off towards Derricks.

When we get there and walk in everyone's waiting for us.

Peter, Cora, Derrick, Allison,

Not surprisingly no Stiles but surprisingly no Lydia.

“Where’s Lydia?” I ask Allison as she looks up at me.

“When we were about to leave her house, she gasped then said she had to find Stiles. When I asked what was going on, she thanked me and just said she figured it out, then got out of my car, got back into hers and sped off. Didn’t give me any time to ask any questions.”

_ Great she even figured it out. _

What am I missing?

_ No, if you can’t think of it yourself, you do not deserve to be his friend. _

My mom’s words float in my mind until I’m broken out of my daze by Derrick’s voice.

“Where is Stiles then?”

Everyone turns to look at me.

“I don’t know where he is, but I know why he is not here,” I say.

Everyone is looking at me expectantly do I start the story.

“Stiles is angry with me, we were supposed to hang out last night but then plans changed and I ended up going out with Allison, Isaac and Lydia to a movie. I invited Stiles but he said no. Then he wasn’t at school for most the day. He showed up just after lunch and when he did, he looked exhausted, more tired than I have ever seen him. But when we locked eyes, he seemed upset about something, then sat on the opposite side of the class as me and Lydia. He left the class before we could even talk to him.”

“So, is that why Lydia went to talk to him?” Cora asked.

“Kind of, both me and Lydia left our last class a few minutes to get to his locker before he could get there and bolt. When he came up, he said that he was mad at me for more than just cancelling. He then said to both of us that we both should know why he was angry and when we figure it out to come and see him, that’s when Isaac came up to remind us about this.”

There was silence for a few seconds after I finished before Isaac spoke up.

“So, she must have figured out why and went to find him,” he asked hesitantly.

I nod my head at him.

“And you have no idea why he is upset?”

I shake my no.

“My mom seems to know what it is though.”

“How does she know, and you don’t,” Peter puts in.

“I don’t know,” I say quietly, anger starting to creep its way into my voice. Allison comes up and puts her hand on my back and almost immediately some of the stress starts to disappear.

I look up at the people in front of me, now impatient to get out of here. I look at Derrick.

“So, why are we here?”

Derrick and Peter then spend the next hour or so rambling about a pair of what they think are werewolves or something, they aren’t really sure what it is, that appears to have come to town. We spend another good hour discussing how that should be handled and what it could be.

By the end it is clear that we do not know enough about them to formulate a good plan of action, and we need Stiles to dig up as much as he can based off what they know, both from the bestiary and however else he finds all of his information.

Derrick, Cora, Allison and Peter all tried calling and/or texting him but to no reply.

“I know that he is mad at you but he isn’t mad at me so I think I will go over since his phone is off,” Derrick says and starts for the door.

“I should check on Lydia and she is probably over there so I will follow you,” Allison says.

“I will go with Allison since I know you are going over there and a car is a lot more comfy than a bike,” Isaac says to me.

Pretty soon the whole pack is heading over to the Stilinski house, even Peter and Cora, some for the sake of going, some because they have no other ride, and some for actual reasons.

When I pull up on my bike , I am the first one of the pack to get there. Outside of course is Lydia, who is simply sitting on the steps of the house, her car in the driveway.

We lock eyes when I pull off my helmet, and she is looking at me like I set the world on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up...Lydia's POV!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia's thoughts through the story so far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the longer chapters! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!!

**Lydia POV**

I know I should not have pushed Stiles away like I did, but whenever I saw him, I would feel a surge in me, and my mind would be pulled back to that day in the locker room as we sat on that floor.

I still remember the way his lips felt against mine.

Even if it took a few seconds for them to move back against mine, I could feel how soft and plump and kissable they felt against mine.

I remember the look on his face once I forced myself to open my eyes.

It was a look of admiration plain and simple.

I honestly did only kiss him to make him hold his breath.

But when I pulled back, something changed.

We were only kissing for a few seconds, but I felt a shift inside myself.

When I opened my eyes, he was no longer just Stiles Stilinski.

He was the Stiles Stilinski that had very quickly become one of, if not my closest friend.

He was the Stiles Stilinski that made me feel okay and sane during a time when I felt like I was going insane.

He was the Stiles Stilinski that made me feel safe and at home, no matter where we were.

As I looked into his eyes, I was no longer sure of the reason I kissed him.

Was it only to get him to hold his breath, or something else?

I kept telling myself that it was just to stop the panic attack, but since that moment and everyone after, that rationalization felt less true.

And that was not okay.

I am Lydia Martin.

I cannot be pining after a boy, if I want something, I just go take it.

But I was unwilling to do that.

I was scared.

Going after Stiles was to real and involved too many complex emotions.

My brain wouldn’t allow me to believe what I knew in my heart was true, that Stiles was the only person I wanted to share  my crazy supernatural life and experiences with. Good or bad. Exciting or boring.

The last time my heart opened itself up like how it was now was Jackson and the pain of when he abandoned me to leave for London still lingered.

I know Stiles is different but I know I couldn’t allow myself to go through that again so I thought that if I went back to ignoring him, whatever I was feeling, would disappear.

Unfortunately, the opposite was true.

Despite my countless attempts to not to, my mind almost always seemed to drift back to the kiss, and the feeling of comfort, security, and wholeness that spread through my body.

I think about the motel when he stepped into the puddle of gasoline for his best friend, and the feeling of dread and fear that gripped me as he did so. That when he stepped into that lethal gas puddle, any worry for Scott's or even my own well being became unimportant as long Stiles would be okay. It's why I didn't even hesitate to tackle him out of the way as the flare started rolling back towards the puddle. The fact that Scott was also knocked out of the way was just lucky.

I think about the feeling back at the dance, a feeling of appreciation, of surprise, and of comfort.

A feeling I had come to associate with Stiles.

_ I know that somewhere in the cold...lifeless exterior, there is an actual human soul. And I’m also pretty sure, I am the only who knows how smart you really are and when you are done pretending to be a nitwit, you will go off and write some insane mathematical theorem that will win you the Nobel Prize. _

The more I tried to push those thoughts from my head, the more prominently the came back which made me more irritated, which made me pull away from him more.

It is a vicious cycle that I wasn’t sure how to get out of, but I knew I needed to before I pushed Stiles too far away that I couldn’t get him back. But no matter how hard I tried the cycle continued to spin.

That is until today.

I remember getting to coaches class and being surprised not to find Stiles already there but didn’t think much of it.

When I glanced at Scott following Coach’s open-ended question, the same concern was on his face as was starting to settle in my stomach. I dismissed my worried thoughts and focused on Coach’s voice and the information in front of me, because that was the simplest thing to do.

But as the day progressed and I didn’t see him in any of the classes we shared or hear his voice ringing throughout the hallways in between classes, the worry in my stomach grew and the fear started returning to my stomach.

I may not show it, but this year, it became almost a habit to always be aware of where Stiles is. Knowing he was near me brought a certain level of comfort, so I was always aware of when he was near and when he was absent and by the time lunch rolled around and Stiles still hadn’t been heard from, my worry was beginning to crack my outer shell and onto my face.

I glance at Scott a few times and the concern and worry are extremely apparent on his face.

As me and Scott walk to our next class after lunch, I can feel the worry and tension coming off of us in waves as there is still no sign of Stiles.

I sit in my regular seat and try to pretend everything is hunky dory but every 10 seconds I’m looking up at the door, willing Stiles and his big smile to come walking through.

Then I see Stiles walk in, I let out a big sigh of relief, but my relief was short lived as I took in his form.

His eyes had a dead look to them.

And no big smile.

There hadn’t been the same twinkle in his eyes since the sacrifice thing, but now they just looked dulled and dead, like someone really close to him, like his Dad, had died.

But I know that is not true because there is no way he would be here if his Dad was dead or injured.

His body also looked like he was about to collapse.

Like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

He stares at Scott for a while, my eyes never leaving his exhausted  _ and handsome _ form. Then after a few moments he glances at me with his dead sad eyes and sits about as far from us as he possibly could.

A feeling of hurt starts to settle in my stomach at the small rejection.

_ Something is wrong. _

It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

I look at Scott hoping to find an explanation, but he looks more confused than I do as he glances at me.

_ I will just talk to him before next period. _

Again, I push my thoughts out and try to focus on the lecture, but that proves more difficult as my eyes seem to be drawn to the boy facing away from me at the front of the class.

Catching him proves more difficult than expected since he is gone before I have even picked up my things.

The image of his eyes without any fight in them burned into the front and center of my mind as I pack my things. It occurs to me that it is just me and Scott left in the room, but neither of us saying anything to the other, both searching our minds for anything to explain what is going on with our friend.

_ Friend is a light word, don’t you think? _

The taunt from my own brain serves to darken my mood even more than it already was.

It doesn’t help that the taunt had Stiles’ voice attached to it.

I try to pay attention in my final period, but his dead eyes keep coming back to my brain and taking me away from the textbook in front of me.

I knew that me abandoning him was not the best plan, especially considering that I am his emotional tether, but I never thought I would ever see his eyes like that.

He’s Stiles.

He is always okay.

He always endures.

No matter what is going on, he is always there for me and Scott and everyone to lean on him.

He is there to figure it out because he always did.

He is there to research the next creature because we need him to.

_ Maybe he reached his breaking point. _

A new feeling of dread fills me as I realize that my pulling away and abandoning him when he needed me most may have contributed to that look in his eyes.

_ How could I be so shallow and selfish? When I needed someone he was always there, no matter how many times I shoved him away, why couldn’t I do the same for him? _

A couple of tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill over, so I wipe them with the back of my hand.

I leave like five minutes early from my last class, I ask the teacher for permission, but they know me well enough to know that it was more of a notification than an ask of permission.

Based on what happened after last period, it is obvious that he does not want to speak to us and will try to get out of the school as quickly as possible.

_ I need to know what is wrong with him! _

I do not like knowing things.

As I exit the classroom, I push my emotions aside and allow the rational part of my brain to take over.

The image of Stiles’ eyes from earlier today tries to penetrate my mind but I push it aside because I just need to focus on finding the problem and fixing it. Then it will be all better.

_ I need my Stiles back. _

The one with a sarcastic remark to everything.

The one with limitless energy.

When I get to his locker, there is no one in the hallway.

After a couple minutes of thoughtless staring at Stiles’ locker, I hear a door close and I see Scott come walking out, heading in my direction.

We make eye contact but neither of us say anything, not needing to since we both know why the other is there.

After what seems like an eternity, when in reality it is only a few minutes, the bell marking the end of the school day rings.

I see _ him _ exit his class in a hurry and turn automatically towards where his locker is.

The moment he looks up, he comes to an immediate halt in the middle of the hallway.

The staring contest that ensues is one filled with tension and confusion.

I can see the pained and debating look on his face.

He looks like he wants to turn around and not come back, but eventually he decides to walk over this way, as he does do, he takes a deep breath, sets his face in an unreadable mask.

I have become pretty good in reading Stiles since our friendship began, but usually he wears his emotions on his sleeve.

Something Scott had said earlier this year pops in my head as Stiles draws closer.

_ “About 95% of the time, you will have an easy time telling exactly what Stiles is thinking, but when he really wants to, he becomes the stubbornest and most unreadable person you will ever find.” _

When he finally gets to us, he turns to his locker and doesn’t even acknowledge that we are there.

I try to be offended, but whatever is going on must be a big deal for him to so blatantly ignore my presence.

“Stiles are you alright? I have been texting and calling you all day?” Scott says.

A small emotionless laugh escapes Stiles’ lips at the question.

“I don’t need your fake sympathy alright,” he responds.

_ Fake? _

I am very rarely speechless but the word “fake” coming from his lips sends my mind into a tailspin.

_ Fake? _

_ How could...Fake? _

Scott seems to recover from the shock quicker, as before I can respond, or even form a complete thought in my head, he asks the question.

The only question that can follow a statement like that.  

“Fake? What do you mean fake?” Scott replies, complete confusion taking over his voice.

Stiles doesn’t say anything, just continues to attempt to open his locker.

He goes back to not acknowledging our presence and starts stuffing his backpack with everything he needs from his locker, leaving me and Scott standing there looking like idiots, dumbfounded expressions on both of our faces.  

After a couple seconds of tense silence, my brain finally coming back to full capacity, he grabs his backpack, shuts his locker and turns and looks at both of us, his stern unreadable expression still plastered on his face.

“I get your mad that I had to cancel yesterday but I didn’t think you would be this angry. Why are so mad?”

He doesn’t even blink at the question but continues to stare at us, face not giving anything away.

“You know why,” he deadpans after a few seconds, his voice having less emotion than his face does.

“Because I cancelled?”

He lets out another emotionless laugh.

“That’s part of it.”

“Then what’s all of it?” Scott asks, his voice still laced with utter confusion.

“I tell you what, when you realize why I am so angry, like I know you will, you come let me know, because I know that  _ both _ of you know why, you two probably just haven’t realized it yet.”

The both is a clear sign that, whatever reason he is mad, I am looped into to.

The comment sends my brain into hyper speed, trying to go over every conversation I have ever had with Stiles Stilinski.

_ What would we have talked about that would have him so angry? _

I see Isaac come running up to the group and start say something, but I don’t really care what he has to say so I tune him out.

I see Stiles use the distraction of Isaac’s approach to slip down the hallway.

I consider following him or calling to him, but I know that it will do no good.

_ The only way I am going to talk to him again is by figuring out, why he I so angry. _

_ If he says I know why, then I am going to figure it out. _

I know the conversation is continuing around me but that is not important as my brain works overtime to figure out what in the hell Stiles could be talking about.

“Lydia.”

My name on Allison’s lips brings me back from inside my head.

“Want me to follow you home so we can drop off your car and head over together?” she asks.

I try to bring my brain back to the present, but Stiles voice still is ringing in my head.

_ Would you just think about getting rid of your little dog? _

I hear my name again and I see Allison looking at me expectantly.

“Yeah, that sounds good, see you guys over there,” I am able to stammer out, not really sure what I am agreeing to, but I trust Allison so as she starts walking down the hall, I follow her mindlessly.

As we reach our side by side cars Allison’s voice breaks my stupor.

“Are you okay?”

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts but not having a lot of success.

“Yeah, just…” I don’t really know what to say, but my brain is too busy to lie or dodge, so I settle on just being straight up with her. “Stiles is upset, and I am trying to figure out why.”

“Why didn’t he just say why he was upset?” she asks in return, knowing that normally Stiles wears what he is thinking on his sleeve.

“He said that me and Scott should know why and when we figure it out to come see him.”

“Ah, I see. Well, you’ll figure it out, you’re the smartest person in Beacon Hills. See you in a few,” she says climbing into her car.

I climb into mine and start the short drive back to my house, Allison right behind me.

The radio is on, but I am not listening to it.

My brain starts going through all my conversations with Stiles again, snippets running through my head like on a highlight reel.

_ “I’m also pretty sure, that I am the only one who knows how smart you really are.” _

_ “I think you look really beautiful when you cry.” _

_ “You know how I’ll feel; I’ll be devastated.” _

_ “I know you guys are right behind us, put me on speaker.” _

_ “We have kind of been through this before, at your birthday party.” _

_ “Would you focus, please, trying to save lives here.” _

Before I know it, I pull into my driveway, no closer to figuring out what Stiles is mad about, just a realization of how far our  _ friendship _ has come since High School began.

I get out of my car and get into Allison’s who greets me with a smile.

“Think of anything?” she asks me.

I just shake my head and she gives me a sympathetic smile.

“You’ll figure it out. You won’t lose Stiles, Lydia,” she says softly.

Allison has always seemed to know something I didn’t when it came to Stiles. Whenever it came up, she would give me a small sly smile.

Luckily before she dives further into the topic further, she changes subjects.

“Do you need to leave your mom a note or something, who knows how long this thing will take.”

“No, she is gone this week,” I respond.

_ Wait! _

Mom.

Gone.

“Stop!” I scream as Allison begins to pull away.

Allison is shocked but puts the car back in park.

“What day is it?”

“Friday?” She responds hesitantly the question obvious in her voice.

“No, what date?”

Allison grabs her phone clicks it on and looks at the screen.

“It’s March 15th, why?”

_ March 15th! _

My mind zooms back to a few months ago when me and Stiles were looking something up in his room.

_ “Spring is my favorite season! It always has such great colors and that is when the warmth returns!” I said. _

_ “Summer is mine, no school!” _

_ “Oh, come on! You don’t like Spring?” I tease but his smile falls slightly. _

_ “No, Spring is my least favorite season.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Has March in it…” he says sadly. _

_ “Why do hate March so much?” I ask cautiously, the conversation taking a dramatic turn quickly. _

_ “Not so much the entire month, just one day in particular. March 15th,” I look at him, the question in my eyes I’m sure. “It’s the day my mom died.” _

The anniversary of her death is today!

“I have to find Stiles! Allison thank you so much!” I basically scream at her and move to unbuckle.

“Woah, woah, woah...what is happening? Where are you going? What about the pack meeting?” she stumbles out.

I pause in my rush and looked at her befuddled expression.

“I figured it out,” I say to her and get out of the car no longer listening to her calls as I shut the door and move towards my car.

Stiles’ house.

That is all that is on my mind.

Get to Stiles.

I haven’t driven more recklessly in my life, but I really couldn’t care less!

When I pull up along the curb of the Stilinski house, I am unimpressed to see the pale blue Jeep I have come to reluctantly enjoy not in the driveway.

I get out of the car and knock on the door.

I am not expecting an answer and I don’t get one, so I decide to sit on the front step.

I could probably find the spare key but, I don't need him more mad.

I pull out my phone and dial Stiles’ number.

It rings then goes to VM

I try 5 more times before giving up.

As I sit there staring up and down the street waiting for his Jeep to pull up my mind drifts back to that conversation.

_ “It’s the day my mother died.” _

_ Quiet followed for a few seconds before Stiles sniffles and wipes tears from his eyes. _

_ “I’m sorry Stiles’, I didn’t mean to…” I start to say but he cuts me off. _

_ “No, no it’s alright. The day never ends up being that bad, it’s always the first 14 days of the month, the lead up to it that are the hardest.” _

_ He smiles up at me and I smile back. _

_ “What do you two do?” I ask feeling bold. _

_ “Three.” _

_ “Three? Do you have some sister I don’t know about?” I ask teasingly. _

_ That draws a small laugh out of him. _

_ “No, the night before Scott comes over and we watch movies until we pass out. Then the next morning, we have breakfast, a non-healthy breakfast, then stop at the diner for hot chocolate on our way to the cemetery. Then we spend as long as we want just talking to her. Filling her in on what's going on, tell stories, reminisce. The most important part though is me and Scott go to school after. Normally we only make it for the last couple hours, but it is what my mom wanted, for us to always go to school.” _

After that Sheriff had called dinner time so the moment was broken.

I smile.

My happiness at the memory, turns to anger as I bring myself back to the present.

“SCOTT!” I scream at the top of my lungs standing.

I start to pace the walkway to work off my angry energy.

_ How can someone not remember a day like this for their best friend. _

I know what day Allison’s mom died and am already starting to plan what we can do to cheer her up.

And this is just the first year that is true.

Scott and Stiles have been doing this for like 10 years probably.

How could Scott forget?

What coach said today in first period makes a lot more sense now.

_ “Wait I’m surprised you’re here actually McCall, isn’t today…?” _

_ “Is today what Coach?” _

_ “I must have my dates wrong,” he says and then moves into the lecture. _

How could coach remember and not his best friend.

I sit back down on the step, my anger not going away, but I shove it aside for the time being.

Stiles was right that when I figured it out it was going to seem extremely obvious.

_ So not only was he going through all that post sacrifice stuff by himself he was having to do it at the beginning of March. _

My shame deepens at how much pain I had caused him.

And even if I hadn’t caused it, how much pain he was left with that I could have helped alleviate.

_ I left a boy I love to suffer because I was too scared of myself. _

I look around as if what I just said in my head might have been played on loudspeakers.  

I am thrown by my own thoughts.

Love?

I can't possibly love Stiles Stilinski.

The dorky kid that has had a crush on me since the third grade.

I sigh deeply.

But the more I think about it, the more it makes since.

Despite the fact that we only really became close less than a year ago, we have been through so much that he became the person I trusted the most.

That if I needed something, he was the person I called first.

_ “I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?” _

_ “YES!” _

There was the Winter Formal.

_ “Once you’re done pretending to be a nitwit, you’ll probably go off and write some insane mathematical theorem that will win you the Nobel prize.” _

Whenever I think about that night, I still get a weird chill, the same chill as when I see Peter.

_ I guess I’m lucky Jackson found me when he did. _

I shake Jackson from my head, that wound still not fully healed.

Then a thought occurs.

When Jackson left for London, I was unhappy to say the least, a little heartbroken and I felt betrayed.

Especially over the last few weeks, since I spent hours waiting for the three of them to pop out of their tubs, I would think about what it would be like for Stiles to die.

While just thinking about it filled me with dread, it was not unlikely.

He wasn’t a werewolf with healing abilities.

He wasn’t a hunter who was a perfect shot with a crossbow or had military grade weapons in their garage.

He was just Stiles.

If Stiles died…

The pack would dissolve.

That is for sure.

I wouldn’t be able to even have anything to do with the supernatural world. I don’t even know what I would do.

_ “If you die, I will literally go out of my freaking mind.” _

Stiles’ voice ringing in my head so loudly, but I know that those words are so true.

And not just for him anymore, for me as well.

_ That’s what happens when someone you love dies. _

Scott would, I don’t know what but even if he was able to get through the emotional pain, he couldn’t handle the supernatural world without Stiles behind him, he depended on Stiles too much for to many things for him to last long without getting hurt.  

Dereck despite his bravado, actually really liked and depended on Stiles.

Peter at least respected Stiles.

Isaac wasn’t that close to Stiles but would still feel the pain from the pack.

Allison would break from both losing her friend and from seeing me and Scott in so much pain.

If something were to happen to Stiles, the pack would see a huge shift.

He might be the group punching bag, but Stiles’ might have become the most important part of the pack without anyone even realizing it.

A heavy sigh leaves my lips as I glance both ways down the street still hoping to see the pale blue Jeep pulling up.

_ How could I have been so blind? _

Tears start to creep into my eyes

I hear a motor start to come down the street for the first time and I look hoping it is the vehicle I’m hoping it is.

It is the opposite.

I see Scott pull up on his bike and all the anger I was feeling earlier that I shoved aside came roaring back, so much so that it consumed my brain.

_ The only reason he would be here, is if he figured it out. _

He looks at me with a look of fear and reservation.

I would assume he figured it out but based on his body language it doesn’t look like he is as devastated as I thought he would be.

I don’t know if I should go the fiery approach or the slow route.

“You figured it out,” he says.

It is a statement not a question.

The air between us is deadly silent.

“Did you?” I ask.

He shakes his head no.

I scoff.

“You know, I know that I was a bitch to you and especially Stiles for a lot of years when we were growing up, but I don’t think all of that combined is as bad as this,” I say.

Scott wilts for a second then his fight fills his features again.

“What did I do?! It seems like everyone has figured it out but me! You want to tell me what I did or didn’t do?”

“Oh no, either Stiles is going to tell you, or you are going to have to figure it out,” I say back to him.

I sit back on the step just staring at him when I hear a couple more motors coming down the road.

I break my eye contact with Scott to see a pair of vehicles coming down the road.

I recognize both Allison’s Toyota and Derrick’s charger parking in front of the house.

_ What are they all doing here? _

My eyes go back to Scott and he is looking around at everyone, a little bit relief that they are here so he has some buffer and he is not going at me 1 on 1.

Allison gets out of her car and starts walking over to me.

“He here?”

I scoff a little at the question, looking away from Scott and towards Allison.

“I wouldn’t be sitting out here pathetically on his front porch if he was,” I snap back.

“Fair enough.”

“What are they all doing here?”

“Pack field trip, didn’t you hear” Isaac jokes but my glare at him shuts him up.

“I need him to look into something for me since he has the bestiary and since Allison wanted to check on you, Scott wanted to see Stiles and Isaac’s ride is Scott, we all came over here. These two came just so they wouldn’t feel left out,” Derrick tells me.

Scott starts to approach, fiddling with his keys as he walks.

“Here, this way we don’t have to wait outside,” he says right before sticking a key in the door and unlocking it.

Everyone scoots around me on the stairs when it is evident that I was not moving to make it easier.

I shouldn’t be surprised that Scott has a key.

I know I should go inside but it still feels like a violation of his trust to go inside when isn’t here.

Allison comes from behind me.

“Let’s go Lydia,” she says softly.

I slowly rise and make my way into the house.

Everyone has made themselves at home in the living room.

Scott was standing in the corner trying to avoid my eye contact.

_ He is still trying to figure out what is going on. _

We all sit there for a long time in silence before Peter decides he needs to strike up a conversation.

“We missed you at the pack meeting today Lydia, it was lively,” he says.

I let out a big sigh, all the anxiety of waiting is starting to get to me.

“Well I was busy,” I say sassily back to him.

“With what, sitting on a front porch, oh yes very time consuming.”

I scoff again.

“Why are you even here? Why do we even keep you around? You bit me and left me for dead on that field! If it wasn’t for Jackson finding me, I would have died there!” I scream at him.

He just laughs when I am done, which makes my anger double.

Scott perks up from the corner and Allison connects eyes with him then with Derrick.

Everyone seems stunned.

Like they all know something I do not which seems highly unlikely.

“You really don’t know do you?” Derrick asks after connecting eyes with Scott, some disbelief in his voice.  

“What do you mean?”

He lets out a sigh then stands from his position on the couch to come eye level with since I am still pacing around the living room.

“You really think that it was Jackson who saved you on that field that night?” he asked.

“Who else would it have been? He was the one that carried me back in from the field, I know that because that was all I heard about at the school when I went back,” I snapped back at him getting defensive.

“Ah yes, it was Jackson who carried you back, but he was not the one who saved you,” Peter said from his relaxed spot on the couch.

I look at him with a shocked expression.

“What do you mean?”

“Stiles realized what was happening and tried to warn you, a few seconds earlier and he might have got there in time. But after it happened, he made a bargain with me, I take him since it was Scott I wanted, and I leave you alone. I agreed. He called Jackson before we left so, he would come and get you before you died. What did he say again? Something along the lines of ‘you can kill me, just don’t touch her,” Peter said.

_ Of course, he did. _

I should be more surprised than I am but that is so Stiles.

_ Stiles literally looked a murderer in the eyes and told him to kill him so I could live. _

The tears I had tried to keep at bay all afternoon finally overflowed.

_ He has saved me how many times. Kept me sane how many times and I still shoved him away when he needed me most. _

Allison starts to try and hug me, but I know before she even gets close that it won’t feel right.

It’s Stiles’ job to comfort me, not Allison.

It should be Stiles to try and keep me from crying right now, no one else.

“I am going to get some air,” I stumble out and make for the door but just as I reach for it, it swings open and almost hits me.

I take a step back and I am left in a staring contest with one the person I want to see most in the world.

“Hey Stiles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up...Stiles confronts the pack


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stile confronts the pack and Scott suffers a revelation.

**Stiles POV**

I am in a somewhat good mood as I turn off the freeway from my dinner out.

_ I should see if my dad has called. _

I feel around my jacket and my car for my phone and don’t see it.

It then occurs to me that I left it on the floor of my room after throwing it the night before.

_ I’ll call Dad when I get home. _

Part of me is hoping that Lydia or Scott or both are there when I get back because that means they finally figured it out.

But I also don’t know if I have the energy for a confrontation like that, so I’m torn.

I take a deep breath as I turn onto my street.

As I get closer my worry heightens as I see both Lydia’s car and Scott’s bike.

But I also see Allison’s car and Derrick’s Charger, which means that most if not all the pack is here.

_ I definitely don’t have the energy to deal with all of those unappreciative fuckers. _

I pull my car into its spot and try to gather the courage, energy and will to face all of them.

I pull in my parking spot that thankfully has been left open for me.

I put my jeep in park and turn off the engine and stare at the garage door that is in front of me.

_ Where can I go? _

All my usual answers are sitting in my house.

The only one I can think of is the station, but I know my dad doesn’t want me there just to be there.

I let out a big sigh and open the door to my Jeep.

I start to wonder how they are all inside until I remember Scott has a key and probably let them in.  

I start my walk towards the front door and although it is only 10ft, it feels like a mile.

I pause at the door but after a moment, steel myself again and open the door to a crying Lydia.

“Hey Stiles.”

My first instinct is to run and take her in my arms, but I refrain from that as she’s wipes the tears from her eyes.

“Lydia…”

“Stiles, I’m….”

I hold up my hand to stop her from going any further, not interested in an empty apology.

We stare at each other in silence for a few moments.

“Did you figure it out?” I ask.

She nods her head yes, not breaking eye contact, I can see the sadness and regret in her eyes.  

I give her a brief nod back and head towards the kitchen to grab some water, but I also have to pass through the living room to get there.

I step into the living room and see the entire pack sitting spread out across the room.

Scott meets my eyes and almost immediately I register confusion, on his features.

_ So, he hasn’t figured it out yet. _

Our staring contest is interrupted by Derrick’s voice.

“Stiles…” he says cautiously.

I look at him, keeping my face set in an expressionless setting.

“Do you not pick up your phone anymore?”

He is trying to lighten the mood but the message behind the comment is clear.

I still don’t say anything. I know that the moment I talk, I probably won’t stop.

Derrick starts talking about needing me to look something up, but I am exhausted from the emotions of the day and from not sleeping for weeks, so I’m not really listening.

“...so, we wanted you to see what you could find…”

The more he talks, the more annoyed I get, until I finally can’t take it anymore.

“Get out!” I finally say. It is not loud, or a scream by any means, but a simple firm statement.

Derrick looks shocked at the interruption. As does everyone else.

“What?” Derrick asks.

I look at him, my suppressed anger burning in my eyes.

“Get out. I don’t want to deal with this right now.”

I move towards the kitchen, but he blocks my way.

“Stiles, you can’t just say no, we need you to look this thing up, so you are going to do it.”

I just stare at him again, not saying anything.

Normally I would be worried about speaking back to Derrick, but I am beyond caring at this point.

“Look Stiles, I don’t know why your mad at those two over there,” he said gesturing to Lydia and Scott standing by the wall, “but that does not excuse you from doing your part for the pack.”

“Derrick…” Lydia says, a warning in her voice but Derrick doesn’t hear her.

“Stiles you aren’t good for much, so I don’t think that you want to start refusing to do the one thing that makes you valuable. So, buck-up, stop being selfish, and do what we need you to do!”

I rare back and punch him straight in the jaw.

A disbelieving laugh escapes my lips.

“Selfish?”

“Selfish?”

“Selfish?!”

The surprise more than the force sends him to the ground.

My hand is either bruised or broken but I can’t bring myself to care.

_ I’ll ice it in a second. _

Derrick looks up at me with a shocked face.

“Stiles!” Isaac calls from the couch, standing up as he does so.

“Scott, did you figure it out?” I ask.

He looks surprised at the change in topic but then shakes his head no.

My anger spikes again and takes over.

“Do any of you stop and think about what all I do for all of you? Do you ever stop and think about what you ask of me on a daily basis? Normally I am more than happy to because it is the only way for me to hang on to my so-called friends! But not today! And I know Derrick that I do nothing but get in the way and annoy you and all am good for is something you all could do but choose not to because it gives me something to do! I want you all to think about the number of times this week you have said something to me. Then think about how many of those times are either an order, an insult or backhanded comment!”

I see all of their faces fall just a little as they actually start going over it in their heads.

“I put up with all your shit because it is the only way to stay close to my best friend. But there is only so many times you can say that stuff before I am forced to accept the fact that all of you see me as useless, a nuisance, annoying, pathetic, human, or a fucking heaping pile of shit. And most likely after all this I will go back to taking that from all of you. But NOT TODAY!”

I take a deep breath before turning to Lydia.

“Lydia, what date is it today?”

“March 15th,” she whispers.

Everyone is looking at each other for the significance but I just look at Scott.

“March 15th,” he whispers.

* * *

 

 

**Scott POV**

“March 15th.”

_ Claudia’s anniversary. _

_ I forgot that today was… _

_ I cancelled last night when we were supposed to… _

“No! No! I didn’t…”I stammer out

I feel my knees give out, and I collapse into the ground.

_ “Wait, I’m surprised to see you here today McCall, isn’t today…” _

_ “If you can’t think of this yourself, you don’t deserve to be his friend. _

“I can’t believe that I…oh my god...I can’t believe I did this.”

I couldn’t create a full thought if my life depended on it.

My thoughts are jumbled mess, but one thought keeps circling back to one thought.

_ I failed Stiles. _

* * *

 

 

**Stiles POV**

It takes his wheels a second then I can see in his face the moment it clicks.

“No! No! I didn’t…” his face falls and I get a measure of satisfaction watching him fall to his knees.

Lydia continues to look down.

“Does someone want to fill us in?” Cora asks quietly.

“I can’t believe that I…oh my god...I can’t believe I did this.”

Everyone is shocked at seeing Scott so despondent, seeing the guy that always got back up down for the count.

“Seriously, why is March 15th so important?” Allison asks the intensity of the room getting to her.

I look over at Lydia and we connect eyes. I nod at her, silently telling her to say.

She takes a deep breath, not wanting to say it but knowing she has to.

“March 15th...the day...the day that...that Claudia Stilinski died,” She stammered out

The room is eerily silent as everyone realizes what is going on, why I am so mad, and why they are all assholes.

After a few moments I feel the room getting smaller as my anxiousness and anger rising again.

“Now everyone, it has been a long day. Get out!”

Derrick, Peter, Cora and Isaac pop up immediately and head for the door, all in a daze, and look like they are just going through the motions rather than making any conscious decisions.

Once the door shuts, I remember I am still thirsty and leave the room. I head to the kitchen to get some water and pray that the three remaining are all gone by the time I return so I can get some sleep in a relative peace.

I am able to get a few moments of respite while drinking but then decide to head back in the room to face the music.

As I return, Allison is sitting on the couch with Scott, an arm around him, who is still beside himself sitting with his head in his hands

Lydia is still standing along the wall and we connect eyes as soon as I walk into the room.

She gives me a nervous smile, searching my face for any cracks.

But I keep my face stoic, so as to not give anything away, counting down the minutes until they leave so I can try and get some sleep.

After a couple of minutes of tense silence, Scott looked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes.

Of all the people that broke the silence it was Allison.

She stood from the couch and I looked over at her and I gave her a small smile.

Of all the people I am the least mad at her. We were never overly close, and there was no reason for her to know what today was and she was the one person who made a point to thank me for the work I did.

She gave me a small watery smile.

“Look Stiles, I know that you may not accept this, but I’m sorry, for everything.”

She looks down in shame.

“Allison,” I whisper, and she looks up at me, tears in her eyes. “None of this is on you, okay. There was no reason for you to know because I never told you.”

“That may be true, but if I was as good of a friend as I thought I was or as you are, I still would have known,” she says back softly looking down at her toes again.

I walk over towards her and put my hand on her shoulder, and she looks back up at me.

“I forgive you,” I whisper to her.

She gives me a watery smile.

“Thanks Stiles,” she says and gives me a smile.

The silence is ruined by Allison’s phone chimes.

She pulls it out and her dads picture pops up.

Allison reads the message and types a response.

“It’s my dad, I told him I would be home for dinner tonight, so I should get going,” she says before looking around the room. “Are you three going to be okay here?”

I let another scoff leave my mouth and glance around the room again.

“Okay is what we will shoot for,” I say bitterly.

Allison gives me a small nod and sits back down next to Scott. I walk back across the room to avoid being creepy. I can’t hear what they are saying but Scott gives her a small nod before she gets up and exchanges a head nod with Lydia before exiting the house.

I thought I knew tense silence, based on what we have been through the past couple years.

But the silence that follows the door closing takes the cake.

Scott is still sitting with his head in his hands and Lydia is still standing awkwardly against the wall looking at the wall.

The longer I stand there, the more I feel my exhaustion start to take over and the mental and physical exhaustion of the day catches up with me.

_ Well if they aren’t going to say anything, I might as well go to bed. _

“Well, not that this isn’t super fun, but I’m pretty tired, so I am going to head to bed. You both are allowed to crash on the couches if you want,” I say to them and I can tell they both caught the hint that the invitation does not include crashing on his bedroom floor.

They both look at me with shocked expressions as I start towards the stairs.

“Seriously?” Scotts voice breaks the silence and stops just before I get to the stairs. “You are just going to go to bed like normal without saying or talking about anything!”

I turn and see the disbelief in his eyes and Lydia has a resigned look on her face.

“Scott, I don’t know if you can tell, but I am exhausted. It has been a long day both emotionally and physically and I didn’t get a lot of sleep to begin with. So, if you want to talk about your abandonment, we can do it in the morning when I have gotten some sleep.”

Scott deflates and gives a small nod.

‘Is your Dad going to be okay with us sleeping here,” Lydia asks.

“Less so than usual but he won’t shoot you.”

Lydia nods and we stare at each other for a couple of seconds and she gives me a small nod.

I look back at them and realize they are still in their School clothes.

“I will throw down some sweats and t-shirts, so you aren’t uncomfortable,” I say and turn and jog up the stairs.

I enter my room and pick up my phone from where I chucked it last night. I look at the screen and see I have 69 missed calls and 45 new text messages. It makes me smile slightly.

I walk over to my dresser and grab two pairs of sweatpants and two t-shirts.

I walk out of my room and through them over the bannister. I can hear them talking quietly but don’t have the energy to eavesdrop, so I go back to my room and pick up my phone to call my dad.

He picks up after the second ring.

“Hey Stiles, how are you doing?”

I let out a sigh.

“Exhausted,” I say back and basically hear the nod from the other end of the phone.

“Did you talk to Scott?”

“Yes and no. That’s why I’m calling actually, Scott and Lydia are crashing hear in the living room tonight, that okay?”

“Why?” he asks as I can hear the anger behind his question.

“Well we sort of started the conversation, but I’m too tired to have it right now so I told them we can just talk about it tomorrow.”

“Alright, yeah that’s fine, but don’t expect me to be pleasant when I see him tomorrow,” he says the anger coming into his voice, which brings a small smile to my face.

“Don’t worry dad, you will probably seem like Santa Claus next to me,” I say which brings a laugh from him.

“Probably, now get some sleep.”

“Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too.”

As I end the call, I place the phone on my nightstand. A big yawn escapes me, and I decide it is time to head to bed.

I throw on some pajamas and brush my teeth.

I collapse onto my bed pull the covers over me.

I feel my body sink into the bed and almost immediately pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up...Lydia and Scott chat


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unable to sleep, Scott and Lydia talk some things out.

**Lydia POV**

As Stiles disappears up the stairs, I let out a sigh.

There is a part of me that wants him to come back down so we can settle all this right now, but the more logical part of me knows that waiting for tomorrow is probably the better idea.

Scott has sat back down on the couch and is rubbing his neck.

“I need to call my mom, let her know,” he says pulling out his phone.

I do the same but simply send a text because I know my mom won’t care for anything other than that, especially since she is not even in the state right now.

I sit down on the couch across from Scott’s as he hits dial.

“Hey Mom...no...yes I figured it out...I really don’t want to get into it right now...yeah I called to let you know I’m going to crash on here...yeah love you too.”

Scott let out a sigh as he put his phone down on the coffee table in front of him and looked up at me.

“You call your Mom?”

I scoff.

“No, I just texted her, she is off on some magical vacation with a guy I have never met. She’s not even in the state.”

Scott lets out a sad laugh at that.

We hear a light thud from behind us and see a pile of sweats and T-shirts on the floor.

I look back at Scott who doesn’t appear to be moving.

“You want to go first?” he asks me.

“No, you go, putting yourself first is a theme for today,” I say snarkily not bothering to hide the resentment in my tone.

He lets out a sad sigh but knows better than to engage so he gets up and grabs a pair of sweatpants and disappears into the bathroom.

I remain on the couch waiting for Scott to out, the silence of the room making my anxiety worsen even though I didn’t think that would be possible.

After a few minutes, Scott comes out in the sleeping gear but keeps his eyes down not making eye contact.

He is back on the couch again with a blanket when I exit the bathroom. The T-shirt and sweatpants I have on smell like Stiles, which brings me a sense of comfort. There is another blanket on the couch across from him. I climb on the couch and lay down facing the ceiling.

I know that there is very little chance I am sleeping anytime soon, my brain is still pacing and no matter how much I try, it will not slow down.

“You’re not sleeping, either are you?”

Scott’s voice startles me.

“No, my brain is moving too fast to fall asleep,” I say as I sit up and face him.

“Same,” he says sitting up as well and looking at me.

I wait for him to speak because I can tell there is something he is trying to formulate in his head.

“How do I come back from this?” he asks quietly.

The question takes me by surprise because it was not at all what I thought would be on his mind. My anger swells up a little at the fact that he is thinking about himself right now,  but I squash it and wait for him to continue.

“I have gone through a lot ever since I got bit. And no matter what happened I found a way to get back up and fight again because I knew I had to. For everyone. But through all of those times the one thing that was always true is that I had Stiles. He was always there with some sarcastic or sassy comment. I think my favorite quote of his was ‘Scott I’m 147 lbs. of pale skin and fragile bone, sarcasm is my only defense.”

He lets out a sad laugh at the memory and I feel a big smile spread on my face because I can absolutely here Stiles saying that.

“I don’t think I could do this if I lost him. I mean if I lose anyone in my pack it would be hard. I don't want to even think of what it would be like to lose Allison. But I would eventually get over that, because I had too. But if I lost Stiles, I don’t know if I could come back from that. And after this, I’m afraid I lost him.”

I can see tears stream down his face, despite the dark.

He wipes them away and looks back up at me.

“What can I do? I know you are mad at me, but I am actually looking for an answer. What do I do to fix this?”

I take a deep breath and push the anger towards him to the side for a minute because I know that I don’t really have a great reason to be mad at other than the fact that I remembered first.

“This is not what you are going to want to here, but there is no fast solution to this. This wound will be deep and sore for a long time. But I honestly think that you do not have to worry about losing him. He is not just your best friend; he is your brother. Do you remember the last time he said that to you?” I ask him and he disengages eye contact with me and looks away.

I can basically see the moment paying in front of his eyes.

_ “Scott just listen to me okay. You’re not no one. You’re someone. Scott you’re my best friend...okay and I need you. Scott you’re my brother. Okay...so if you’re going to do this... you’re just going to have to take me with you then.” _

I can still remember the sound of my heart racing in my ears as I watched Stiles step into the gas puddle, terrified about what would happen.

I shake my head and look back at Scott who is wiping tears from his eyes again at the memory.

“You two need each other. Will this damage things? Probably. But you two will always find your way back to each other. You just need to show him why he is your best friend again.”

He is looking at me again and he seems slightly lighter but still worried.

“I hope your right.”

“Of course, I’m right. I’m probably the smartest person you know,” I say trying to lighten the mood a little.

It works as he chuckles.

“You know it still baffles me sometimes when you say something that nobody around understands, outside maybe Stiles. I spent so many years thinking of you as an empty headed it girl, it is still weird sometimes,” he says with a slight laugh.

I laugh slightly because that was exactly what I wanted people to think of me, it was simpler.

“Yeah well, you weren’t alone, that is what everyone thought of me,” I say with a shrug knowing that is not totally true.

“Not everyone,” he says as if he is reading my mind.

I let out a big sigh at the statement that I know is true and a question I have had in the back of my mind pops out before I can stop it.

“How did he know?” I ask Scott, which makes him chuckle.

“Looking back on it, I’m surprised that nobody else noticed it,” he says which surprises me.

“What do you mean?”

“Well there were numerous times where you would slip up and say something that you shouldn’t know, then realize what you said and cover it up with a stupid comment or question after. Or there was the time where we were all stuck in the school and you whipped up that explosive concoction in two minutes. Stuff like that should have been some sign that you were a lot smarter than you let on, but I guess no one really paid attention.”

“Well someone paid attention,” I say softly. “There are times that I believe that kissing you was one of the best moves I ever made in hindsight.”

Scott looks at me like I was insane, so I continue.

“I mean at the time; the motives were messed in so many ways. But if that didn’t happen, I don’t go to the dance with Stiles, I don’t get bit by Peter and I know nothing about the supernatural. And for all the bad things we have gone through, I wouldn’t change being a part of the pack for anything.”

“Well when you put it like that, I guess that make sense. What were you doing on that field anyway, I never asked.”

I let out a depressing laugh.

“I abandoned Stiles on the dance floor to try and go find Jackson. Who apparently wasn’t even the person who saved me like I thought he was,” I say disbelievingly as I think back on what Peter had said earlier that night?

_ That feels like days ago. _

“Yeah, I didn’t know about that, but it sounded exactly like something Stiles would do. I think the craziest part of that story would be that you allowed yourself to be seen dancing with Stiles back then. I remember seeing you two walk towards the dance floor and I just started chuckling in absolute disbelief.” he said with a small chuckle.

I shrug.

“To be honest, going into that night, I didn’t plan on it. I remember thinking about how much my image was going to drop by even going with him to begin with. But then he went on some insane monologue and by the end it was the first time in a long time, I had felt seen. Not my mask or my clothes, but saw me for me,” I say with a smile on my face remembering the feeling of disbelief and relief at his words.

He is looking at me with a smirk and a question in his eyes but then looks away not wanting to push, but my curiosity gets the better of me.

“What?” I ask exasperated.

“Nothing.”

“Not nothing, I can see you want to ask a question, so ask it.”

He lets out a sigh before connecting eyes with me again, his eyes smiling.

“What is the deal with you and Stiles?”

I chuckle a little because the question should be simple.

_ Friends. _

But that almost feels like a lie.

“What has he said when you’ve asked?” I question trying to give myself more time to figure out what I should say.

“When I have asked him, he just says “friends” and doesn’t elaborate. But I know something happened because you two seem to be avoiding each other for the past couple weeks since the sacrifice thing, did something happen? Like a fight or something?” Scott says.

“No, not a fight,” I say quietly as I feel tears start to gather behind my eyes as the feeling of guilt starts to seep back inside my stomach.

He looks at me, waiting for me to continue.

“It isn’t us avoiding each other, more like me avoiding him.”

“Why?”

“That is a great question. Ever since the kiss…”

“Wait! Kiss?”

I feel a blush spread on my cheeks at the slip. I hadn’t meant to say that, but I had also half assumed Scott already knew through Stiles.

“Yeah, I kissed Stiles to stop his panic attack. It was just after he got the text that Chris got taken and the stress of everything caught up to him. I read somewhere that holding your breath can stop panic attacks, so when he kept getting worse, I kissed him so he would hold his breath. But after that my body couldn’t decide how I was supposed to feel about Stiles and being his tether didn’t exactly clear things up. So, I pulled back to try and give myself some clarity. But all I did was make things worse. For me and for him.”

I don’t know why I kept talking or even gave an answer at all but once I started, I couldn’t stop.

Scott had a shocked look on his face.

I wipe the few tears that have gathered in my eyes away.

After a few moments of silence, Scott composes himself.

“Did you...were you able to? Find clarity?” he asks nervously.

“Not until today,” I say quietly as I feel a smile return to my face.

“And what clarity did you find?” he asked with a big smile.

I look at him annoyed at his joy before looking back down at my lap.

“I think I love him,” I whisper.

Scott’s smile grew so it lit up his face.

“All right, I’m going to bed, I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day,” I say wanting out of this conversation

“Yeah you’re right, thanks for talking to me,” Scott said.

“Well, don’t get used to it, come morning I am mad at you again,” I say with a smirk and I hear Scott chuckle, then get settled on the couch.

I turn on my side facing Scott and try to sleep but I can’t squash the feeling that there was something I should do.

I try and sleep for a few more minutes before I sigh and pick up my phone.

I scroll to my messages and open up mine and Stiles’ chain.

The message is simple.

_ I’m Sorry. _

I set my phone down roll over and my body finally relaxes, and I drift off to sleep.

**Stiles POV**

I shoot up out of my bed panting.

I don’t remember what has panting and panicked and I’m pretty sure I do not want to.

I look down out my fingers and count out ten fingers to make sure I am back in the land of the awake.

I still feel utterly exhausted and I feel like I have not gotten any sleep.

I glance over at my alarm clock and see it reads _ 336 am. _

I let out a big sigh contemplating what to do.

I know I need to get some more sleep, but I am terrified of what I will find there.

Resigned to the fact that yet again I will not be getting a full nights rest, I swing my legs to the floor and stretch out my legs and neck getting the kinks out of my muscles.

My phone is sitting on my nightstand and I figure now is as good a time as any to go through all the messages I received yesterday when I left it sitting on the floor of my room. I grab my phone and make my way out of my room.

I walk quietly by my dad’s room and make my way down the stairs.

As I turn into the living room, I see my two supposed best friends both sleeping peacefully on the couches, I stand there for a few minutes just observing them, still not totally clear on how I should feel towards either of them.

After a few minutes of creepily watching them sleep I quietly move past them and into the kitchen.

It has become a little bit of a tradition for me when I can’t sleep, for me to come down here, make some hot chocolate, and fool around on my phone until normal people start the day.

Dad has stopped being surprised to see me sitting there in the morning.

I put some water on the stove, being a little aware of the noise I was making but not too worried if my sounds awoke Lydia and Scott.

As I waited for the water to heat, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it.

I went to my messages and started scrolling through all the texts I had gotten from the day before.

There was a number from Scott, increasing in worry the later they got in the day.

A couple from Allison in the morning asking where I was.

A few from Derrick letting me know of the meeting, then asking where I was.

The one person I didn’t see in the feed was Lydia.

It wasn’t until about 30 minutes after school ended that her name started popping up.

There was a stream of 3 calls followed by 4 texts then 3 more phone calls all within 10 minutes of each other.

Each text asking me to call her ASAP.

I scoff a little at that figuring that she must have put it together after our conversation at the end of school

_ At least her brain still works as good as it always did. _

I keep swiping away all of the messages and calls missed until I get to the very bottom.

It came in at 11:16 from Lydia.

It is simple.

_ I’m sorry. _

I swipe and delete the message not awake enough deal with all the emotions that came with that simple text.

The high-pitched screaming of the water kettle pulls me from thoughts as I move towards the stove.

I keep my mind hyper-focused on my making of the hot chocolate to make sure that my brain does not go wandering.

After I’m finished, I collapse back on my chair.

I sit there, playing a few games on my phone and sipping my hot chocolate, the weight of my eyelids increasing every second.

I lean my head back on the wall behind me and close my eyes.

I jolt myself back awake and the chair scrapes across the floor.

I hadn’t realized I had drifted off until I glance out the window and see the sun starting to peek out from behind the night sky.

I pick up my phone and look at the time to see 6:27 staring back at me.

I crack my neck which is not too happy with me after leaving it in such an awkward position for a long time. I pick up my hot chocolate which is still reasonably warm and take a sip.  

As I stare out at the sunrise, and debate whether to start making breakfast but decide against it and pick my phone back up and start scrolling through my social media.

For a few minutes I am able to forget all the stress and anger I am feeling as I scroll through various funny memes and looking at pictures posted by ridiculous teenagers.

All my thoughts come to a halt as the picture that helped start all of this pops up on my screen and the anger and resentment settles back into my bones.

Each of their smiling faces staring back at me, almost taunting me with their huge smiles and arms wrapped around each other’s.

If you asked me how long I stared at the photo, I couldn’t tell you, but I only stop staring at the phone when a voice comes from beside me startling me.

“You know I have heard a bed is a little bit more comfortable than a kitchen table,” Lydia’s voice rings out.

I scoff and set my phone down on the table.

“I have heard talking to one another helps keep friendships alive, but unfortunately I wouldn’t know if either of those statements are true based on the last few weeks,” I say not bothering to hide the resentment in my voice.

Lydia looks down in shame as she sits herself across from me letting out a sigh as she does so.

We sit in silence for about 30 seconds until I see her look at the picture that is still shining on my phone.

“You now when Scott said to the group that you weren’t going to be joining us for the movie, do you know what I thought?” she asked me.

I glance at her but say nothing, not wanting to say the answer I knew it would be out loud.

“Thank god.”

“If you are hoping that this will make me feel better, you are not doing very well,” I say back to her, still just staring at my mug and not looking at her.

She lets out a sigh.

I can tell that she is trying to formulate what she wants to say but I shaving a hard time.

“Stiles, I’m sorry for forgetting what yesterday was…”

My scoff cuts her off.

“If you think that my anger at you is only because you forgot what yesterday was, you are not as smart as I thought you were,” I snarl at her.

“No, I know it’s not… it’s...it just seemed like the easiest place to start…the simplest” she trails off.

“Yeah well life isn’t always simple is it,” I answer. 

We sit there for a few minutes in tense silence.

I do not like the feeling of anger that has settled in my stomach, especially since it is pointed at the girl I have loved since I was eight but the weeks of no sleep, and nightmares and neglect have not left me in a great place.

“Do you know why I have pulled away from you these last few weeks?” she asks me.

I look up at her and see fear in her eyes.

That question was one of the few things my mind could focus on the last few weeks and I always came to the same answer.

“Well either you were mad at me and wanted nothing to do with me again like Sophomore year, or the kiss we shared scared you and withdrew from me out of fear. I’m not sure which one would make me feel worse because if you were mad at me, I could maybe fix that but if you were scared, then that means you don’t trust me enough to but yourself out there for me.”

I can tell that the blunt and honest nature of my answer strikes her as I see tears start to well up in her eyes.

She wipes them away from her eyes and looks back at me.

“Stiles…” she says almost a whisper and I can tell that she is trying to keep her tears at bay. I keep my face set but inside the thought of me causing her tears is eating me up.

_ She still looks beautiful when she cries.  _

“Stiles your right. I wasn’t mad at you. I was scared…” she turned and looked at me in the eyes and all I could see was regret and longing staring back at me. “When I kissed you… I did do it because I was trying to stop your panic attack. But when I pulled back, and was staring into your eyes, I honestly couldn’t remember why I kissed you. I kept trying to tell myself that I did it to stop your panic attack, but each time I did, it felt more and more like a lie. Then when the whole sacrifice and tether thing happened, I started feeling and seeing and noticing things about you that I could not explain, or I could not understand.”

She got up and came to my side of the table and as she came closer, I could feel my resolve and anger drifting away from me until she was kneeling right in front of my chair and tears had started to well up in my eyes, wanting nothing more than to burst out.

As the tears started to leak out, she continued.

“Our lives are not simple or easy. But when I am with you…’ she trailed off and gathered her thoughts. “There is no place I feel safer, no place I feel warmer, no place where I feel more at home, than when I am in your arms. I’m sorry that I pushed you away, but it was never because I didn’t trust you, it was because I did not trust myself. I’m sorry that it took this for me to figure this out, for me to cause you so much pain just because I selfishly thought that pushing you away would make things easier for me, when in actuality it just made me feel worse.”

My tears were continuing to roll down my face as my urge to reach out and grab her was growing.

“I know I messed up, but if you allow me, I will glue myself to your side and never, ever walk away from you again. Because I love you,” at those three words my resolved broke and I pulled her into my arms. Her head fitting right into the crook of my neck as my tears and sobs racked my body at the relief of finally having her in my arms again.

“I’m scared,” I force out through my tears. “I’m scared, I’m tired, all I want to do is sleep but I’m terrified of what could be lurking behind my eyelids.”

She backs up a little to look me in the eyes and I see her pain mirroring mine in her eyes.

“Help me,” I plea with her.

She reaches up with her hand and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

“We will figure this out, together,” she breathed as she drew her face closer.

Not wanting to wait any longer I wrap my hand around the back of her head and pulled her to me.

I thought that the last kiss was mind blowing, but this one was out of this world.

It wasn’t rushed or frantic like the last one, but slow and loving.

Both of us pouring all of our hurt and happiness and regret into the kiss, both of us trying to convey our love through the kiss.

Eventually we separate just enough because we need to breath.

“Just promise me one thing,” she says to me cautiously. 

I pull back just enough I am looking down into her eyes, which are a mix of happiness and fear, tears still lining her eyelids. 

“Don’t leave me,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. 

Before I can ask, she is elaborating on her own.

“The 20 hours I had to spend waiting for you to pop your head out of that water was the longest and most stressful 20 hours I have ever experienced, only matched by when I had to stand and watch you step into a pool of gasoline to try and save Scott,” she say looking down almost ashamed at the weakness she is showing in that current moment. 

I shudder at the memory, at the fear that was gripping me, both for myself and my best friend. 

It was weird to think that that was only a few months ago. 

“What I’m trying to say is…” she pauses trying to find the words. “If you die I will literally go out of my freaking mind, okay?” she asks. 

I smile and chuckle lightly at my own words being said back to me. 

I bring my hand under her chin and pull her head so she is looking me in the eyes again. 

I duck down and capture her lips again lovingly, relishing in taste, touch and feel of her lips. 

The kiss doesn’t last long because I pull back and look at her straight in the eyes again.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever. Okay? You are going to he stuck with me for a long time,” I say with a smirk. 

“Good,” she says, a big smile spreading on her face, that matches the one spreading on mine. 

We lean our foreheads together, just enjoying the closeness of the other.

I look into her eyes and she is smiling shyly up at me.

“Let’s never go that long without kissing again,” she says quietly with a smirk.

I am thrown by the change in topic and for the first time in a while, I give a full-on laugh.

I kiss her again, short but sweet before looking her in the eyes again.

“Never again,” I say agreeing. I pull her back into my arms, us fitting together like two puzzle pieces.

I don’t know how long we stand there, just relishing in the peace that holding each other brings, but eventually I kiss her on the head before we separate.

As I am staring back into her eyes, a thought occurred to me.

“I love you,” I say quietly to her realizing I never said it back to her.

She lets out a disbelievingly laugh and kisses me again.

When she backs up her eyes and face are gleaming with joy.

“I love you too,” she says, which brings a huge smile to my face.

“I don’t think I am ever going to get tired of hearing you say that,” I say to her with a smile.

“Well good, another thing to add to the list of never going to long without doing it,” she says to me a twinkle in her eye.

“Do you think that we will find other things we can add to that list?” I question with a smirk.

She gives me a big smile before kissing me hard again while her hands move to the front and give the front of my pjs a squeeze, her hands finding exactly what they were looking for.

“Oh, I believe that we can find a few other things to add to that list,” she says innocently with a huge smile on her face. “Come on, let’s make some breakfast, the other two will be up soon and I am starving!”

She turns and walks towards the kitchen and stand there watching her, enjoying the view.

When she looks back at me, she smiles.

“What do you want to make?” she asks with a smile that she cannot conceal.

“Pancakes are always Dad’s favorite, why don’t we do that?”

“Awesome! I love pancakes!” she says turning to grab the cookbook and start gathering the ingredients. “Do you have any bacon?”

“Yeah,” I say walking over and starting to help. “There is some in the fridge, I’ll get started on that!”

And as we start to work, it is amazing how in sync and how much of a natural flow there is.

It is like we have done it a thousand times before.

Of course, the few kisses we steal from each other along the way, does not hurt the ever growing smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter...Very Scott centric


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott talks to both the Sheriff and Stiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy!!

**Scott POV**

I have been up for a while just been listening to the quiet talking and giggling in the kitchen by Stiles and Lydia.

_ I’m glad they finally worked things out. _

I sit up on the couch, ready to face the music when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

When the Sheriff rounded the corner, our eyes locked.

I could see the twinge of anger in his eyes as he looked at me.

“Sheriff,” I say hesitantly when the silence stretches on.

“Scott,” he says back, controlled and steady like always.

“Look Sheriff,” I start, trying to find the words I need, but failing a little bit. “I...I honestly don’t know what to say except I’m sorry. And that I know you are going to be mad at me but know that I am going to do my best to reprove myself to you.”

He gives me a small reassuring smile.

“Look Scott, I am not going to lie to you, I was a little angry at you for not showing up today. But it wasn’t because you weren’t there for me. It was because you weren’t there for Stiles. That is more my thing. You two are as thick as thieves. You know lately, me and stiles have been talking a lot about all the Supernatural stuff that he kept from me ever since you got bitten,” he says and lower my head.

He lets out a small laugh which makes me look up into his eyes again.

“Scott, there are not a lot of kids who could have handled what you did as well as you did, with everything that was going on. It seems like a lot to deal with just thinking about it and I don’t even have to deal with school. And it seems like this has brought you a lot of great things. A great girlfriend, popularity, star on the lacrosse team. Juggling all of that while learning to be a werewolf and simply trying to survive is impressive and I am very proud of you for that.”

I feel tears start to well in my eyes at his words. Ever since my Dad left, the Sheriff has always been like a second Dad to me and hearing him say that means more to me that I think he realizes.

“Now Scott, will you listen to some advice from me?” he asks almost questioningly.

I nod my head yes as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Don’t be so focused on surviving and the whole high school experience that you forget the two most important parts of what makes us human. Do you know what they are?”

I shake my head no, which makes him give me a small smirk that is a mirror of the Stiles gives me sometimes.

“Don’t forget your past and how you got here. And don’t forget your future and where you are going next.”

I think about the statement and let out a small laugh at the simplicity of it.

“Look, I am not saying to abandon your friends or your pack, but what I am saying is don’t get so caught up in that, that you jeopardize what is next for you after high school. If you need, we can get you a desk or office at the station so you can have a place you can go to be secluded and professional but still plugged in case something happens.”

I let out another disbelieving laugh.

“Sheriff, I don’t know what to say,” I breath out, stunned. “Why?”

“Look son, you made a mistake. You got caught up in everything new that is in your life. It happens, and it is allowed to happen. As long as the mistake, doesn’t make a pattern,” he says softly and affectionately. “Just promise me that you will never put your brother second and always strive to put your future in front, and we won’t have any problems.”

The tears are now flowing down my face and he brings me in for a fatherly hug.

“Thank you,” I whisper in his ear.

He backs up and looks me in the eyes.

“It’s going to be alright son.”

I wipe the tears from my eyes and reset myself.

“Now, if my nose is telling me correctly, there are pancakes and bacon waiting for me in the kitchen,” he says with a skip in his step and disappears into the kitchen.

_ One hard conversation down. _

I knew that the first one would be easier. But I was encouraged that by my conversation with the Sheriff.

It was always comforting to know that I had someone like that behind me. That genuinely cared about me and where I was going next, not only about the next attack.

I let out a deep breath and got myself ready for the next conversation.

A round of laughter comes from the kitchen and I am hesitant to enter the room and ruin the upbeat atmosphere. But I know I cannot delay the conversation any longer.

I walk to the door and push it open.

My presence is immediately noticed as both Stiles and Lydia look towards me and the room falls silent.

“Stiles.”

“Scott.”

* * *

 

 

**Stiles POV**

The first round of bacon is just coming off the skillet when the door to the kitchen opens and my Dad comes strolling through the door with a big smile on his face.

“I thought I smelled bacon!” he says walking over towards the skillet. “Can I do anything?”

“The pancakes are going to be coming off soon, you want to get out syrup and anything you want to go on them,” Lydia says with a smile while flipping the pancakes.

“You got it!” he says and starts buzzing about the kitchen. “You used flour for the pancakes, right?” he says with a smirk and I know exactly what is coming.

Lydia just looks confused.

“Of course we used flour, who wouldn’t use flour?” she asks with a smile.

I bow my head knowing what story is coming.

“Has Stiles never told you the story of the powdered sugar cupcakes?” my Dad asks with a laugh in his voice.

“No!” Lydia asks with a laugh looking over at me.

“Oh, it’s a good one!”

My Dad then goes on to tell the story of when I attempted to make cupcakes and accidently switched the powdered sugar and flour. I ended up putting the powdered sugar in the cupcake mix and the flour in the frosting.

Let’s just say that neither came out very well.

By the end Lydia and Dad are doubled over laughing and I’m just shaking my head in embarrassment as I’m pulling off the pancakes.

“I know see why you let me take the lead on the pancakes, “ she says with a shy smile looking me in the eyes.

“That may have had something to do with it,” I say with a smirk and I fight the urge to kiss her since my dad is in the room and I can tell she is thinking the same thing based on the small twinkle in her eye.

I turn back to the pan and pull off the pancakes and put them on the plate.

As I’m placing the pancakes on the counter, I hear the kitchen door open again and both me and Lydia look towards the door to see the last person in the house come into the doorway.

I feel some of the anger from yesterday return at the sight of him, but not nearly as strong.

“Stiles,” he says quietly.

“Scott,” I respond, my voice dropping again.

We both kind of stare at each other for a couple of moments.

“Uh...Can I talk to you real fast,” Scott stumbles out.

“Sure,” I say before turning to Lydia and my Dad who are standing there awkwardly. “You two dig in, just make sure that, you leave some for us, yeah?”

The both shake their heads and I follow Scott as he disappears into the living room.

He is standing behind the couch opposite of me when I get there. He is looking down at the ground, not wanting to look me in the eyes.

I simply stand there, waiting for him to say something, because I am not going to be the first to engage.

It is a couple more minutes until he seems to gather his thoughts and starts in.

“I know I messed up. I know you are mad, and you have every right to be. I know there is nothing I can say to fix it because my words are probably lost on you know....but I promise you that I am done leaving you behind. I wouldn’t be standing here if you weren’t with me.”

I see the tears in his eyes, and I feel some of my resolve breaking because I do not want to be mad at him, but at this point, I need actions not words from him.

“I want to believe you, I do. And a part of me does because the one thing you have never done to me is lie to me. But you hurt me Scott,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes.

“I know,” he says quietly.

Silence descends on us again as we both collect ourselves.

“I do not like being mad at you, it's one of the hardest things for me to do. But ever since you got that bite, it feels like I have been losing you slowly to the Supernatural world. A world I could never truly be a part of. Now you have Derek, Isaac, Allison...all of whom can buy into that world in ways I never will be able to. I just don’t want to lose my best friend any more than I already have,” I say, tears now streaming down my face.

“You never lost me Stiles, and you never will. I know I have been spending more and more time with Isaac and Allison and them. But it was never about them being Supernatural. IT was about finally having a friend group. About being popular and people wanting me to be a part of things that I never was able to before. And I know that I kind of left you behind and I’m sorry for that. I got caught up in something new. We were at the bottom of the high school food chain for almost all of our lives and being near the top got to my head and I ended hurting my best friend because of it,” I could see the tears in his eyes as he finished.

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I wipe them away.

“Look, Scott. It is not hard for me to believe what you are saying. And if our lives were normal, this would probably be a lot different conversation. But we aren’t normal teenagers. Three weeks ago, me you and Allison died. We stuffed ourselves in ice cold water, with mistletoe sprinkled inside and stayed under the water for 20 hours, then popped up like nothing happened. Then proceeded to run off to a magical tree to rescue our parents from a darach who disguised herself as one of our high school teachers. I want you to really think about that sentence for a second.”

He breaks eye contact and looks at the couch for a second then chuckles under his breath as he truly thinks about the ridiculousness of it all that is our lives. It quickly becomes a full laugh.

“When you put it that way...and I mean you didn’t even mention the warring Alpha Werewolves,” he says laughing slightly again and I join him.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is...these past three weeks have been hell for me. Watching my best friend give me the cold shoulder so he can be with his girlfriend and enjoy his newfound popularity in school. Watch the girl I love give me the cold shoulder for based off what I could tell, was for no reason. Count the days until the date March 16th struck and I could maybe get myself to smile again!”

I pause to take a breath.

“Scott, you are here, you are saying the things you should say, and I can clearly see the anguish and regret all over you. And while all that stuff is good, it can only bring so far.”

He let out a deep breath.

“I know.”

The words are breathless.

“I don’t know what to say Stiles. You’re right, there is no excuse for what I did. There is no excuse to make you go through that alone. Especially since I know that you would have been there for me. All I can say is I’m sorry and going forward, I’m never going to make you do that alone again. Ever.”

He was looking me straight in my eyes and I could see the general sincerity in his features and the pain in his voice at having failed me.

And I do not know if it is his voice or the peace I found with Lydia or my general optimism or just simply trust that he is actually going to come through but the anger I’m feeling dissipates at his words.

“All right Scott, have I ever told you about my dad’s saying about a pattern?”

He looks at me and shakes his head no.

“One is an incident, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern.”

I see a flicker of hope pop into his eyes.

“This is the first time this has happened, so, maybe against my better judgment, I am going to trust that this is not going to happen again. And that is in fact an incident, not the start of a pattern.”

He had tears in his eyes, and I could feel some tears of my own coming into my eyes.

“I don’t know what to say Stiles...how are you...how can you be forgiving when I caused you weeks of pain?”

I feel the tears leak out of my eyes and onto my cheeks as a memory pops into my head.

“Scott your my brother...I need you. I don’t know what is coming next, but I know if we are going to get through it, the only way is together. Scott, I love you. We may fight, mess up, or loss ourselves sometimes, but we will always find our way back to each other.”

He pulls me in for a long hug.

“I love you Stiles...I’m so sorry...I won’t ever do this again,” he whispered into my ear.

“I know you won’t,” I whispered back.

We break the hug and each wipe the tears from our eyes.

“Now, come on, me and Lydia made breakfast and if we don’t hurry it is going to get cold,” I say to him and he lets out a laugh and has huge relieved smile on his face.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he says as we turn and head towards the kitchen.

When we re-enter the kitchen to see Dad and Lydia having a quiet conversation at the table, which ceases at the site of us.

“You guys didn’t eat all the pancakes, did you?” I ask with a smile.

The both smile back, relieved looks on their faces at seeing my upbeat energy for the first time in a while.

“There is three left for each of you,” Lydia says with a bright smile, which reminds me again of just how beautiful she actually is.

“You two okay?” Dad asks looking in between the two of us.

We both look at each other and smile.

“Yeah, we’re good,” I say looking back at them as I take the seat next to Lydia.

“Good! I’m glad to hear that, because if you weren’t it would very awkward tonight,” Dad says, earning confused looks from me, Scott and even Lydia.

“What do you mean?” Scott asks hesitantly.

“Well your mom, called me this morning Scott, she had the idea of doing a family dinner tonight, just like the ones us four use to do years ago,” Dad says with a smile.

“Wow we haven’t done that in a long time,” Scott says amazed.

Lydia went to say something but was cut off by my Dad again.

“And before you say anything Lydia, you are also going to be there, and we are not taking no for an answer!” he said energetically.

“I don’t want to impose on your guys night…” She tried to say but I was having none of it.

“No come on, you have to be there! It’s not like you have anything else going on tonight do you?” I ask with a smile.

She gives me a small shy smile and we stare at each other for a couple seconds.

“No, nothing for me tonight,” she says quietly looking down at the table.

I glance over at Scott who has a huge smile on his face looking at the two of us.

“So, what is on the menu for tonight?” I ask my Dad to break the silence.

“Well, I was thinking we could do pasta with a cream sauce and maybe some garlic bread,” he says glancing around the table.

“That sounds awesome! I think I have the stuff to make some chocolate chip cookies here, I could whip some of those together as well,” I suggested.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to bake because of the fucked up cupcakes,” Lydia asked teasingly.

“Hey that was only one time,” I shoot back smiling.

“Yeah Stiles, is the best baker I know,” Scott chimed in. “He made me a chocolate cake for my birthday one year, still the best cake I have ever had.”

Lydia looked at me shocked.

“How come I never knew about this?” she asked with a smirk.

I shrugged at her.

“You don’t know everything about me yet, there are still a lot of layers to the Stiles onion,” I say back with a smirk of my own.

“Will one of those layers ever be your actual name?” she asks.

Scott scoffed at the question.

“Good luck with that one Lydia, for all the time that I have known him, even I don’t know his real name,” Scott says with a smile.

“How is that true? How have you never told him?” she asks me astonished.

“Well, when I was little, the name was too complex for me to say properly, so I just started always going Stiles and I guess it really never came up,” I say to them with a shrug, my Dad laughing lightly as he remembers the name, he poisoned me with.

“Well, what is the name?” Scott asked now intrigued.

Dad looks at me waiting for my decision.

“Nope, sorry folks, gotta leave some mystery to me!” I say getting up to start clearing the dishes from breakfast. “So, I can clean-up the kitchen and make the cookies, but I don’t think we have the stuff for pasta and cream sauce here. OR garlic bread for that matter.”

“It’s alright, me and Lydia can run to the store and grab the stuff while you make the cookies,” Dad says.

“What about me?” Scott asks.

Dad looks at him seriously.

“Your mom dropped off your school bag at the Station last night, I think today would be a great day to catch-up on some school work since the Supernatural has seemed to quiet down for the time being,” Dad says to Scott.

Scott smiles at him gratefully.

“That is a great idea,” he says sincerely. “Where is it?”

“Out in my car, you can run and grab it,” he says gesturing to the front door.

Scott nods and disappears out the door.

Dad turns back to us with a proud smile and I feel a certain amount of satisfaction at my friend’s rededication to his schoolwork.

“So kid, you want to head to the store, I wouldn’t know what to get even with a list,” he says with a smile.

“Yeah sounds great! The only problem is, I don’t have any other clothes other than the ones that I wore yesterday,” Lydia said bothered.

I know how important her clothes are to her.

“Well we can swing by your house and pick up a few changes of clothes if you want,” he adds.

_ A few? _

Lydia must have pulled the question from my mind as she asked the same exact thing.

“A few?”

My dad smiled his usual knowing smile at her as he glanced between us.

“Well with everything I am learning about Beacon Hills recently, I don’t know if I love the idea of you by yourself in that house. I know that you can take care of yourself, but for my own sanity, at least tonight I thought it would be a good idea for you to crash here. I figured that you wouldn’t have to many objections to that,” both me and Lydia blushed at his comment.

“No, that actually sounds like a great idea,” Lydia says glancing shyly at me and I give her a big smile as our eyes meet.

“That’s what I figured,” Dad said with a smile. “Now as far as getting there, we have a couple options. We could take my squad car, but that probably isn’t the best option. So, we can either take the Jeep or we can take your car, your choice,” he says to Lydia.

She glances at me with smile.

“No offense to the Jeep, but I think that we would both be a little bit better off if I just drove,” Lydia says.

Dad chuckles.

“I couldn’t agree with you more; I don’t know if I could even drive that thing anymore.”

We both chuckle.

“Well, I will go get changed and we can head out, sound good?”

“Yeah sounds great!” Lydia responds.

Once Dad is out of the room Lydia walks over and walks straight into my arms, wrapping hers around my torso and places her head on my chest. I wrap my arms around and let out a content sigh at simply being able to hold her.

“I love you,” I hear her mumble against my chest.

“I love you too.”

She pulls back a little and throws her arms around the back of my neck to look me in the eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” she asks nervously.

“Sure.”

“Why are you not still mad at us?”

I let out a sigh.

_ I should have expected that question _

“I hate feeling anger or hate. They are negative emotions and I have never been able to hold onto them for very long. Paranoia, distrust, and skepticism, all day long. But anger is a feeling that I don’t want to feel if I do not have to,” I say honestly.

“That makes sense I guess. But I...I mean I was mad for weeks at you for leaving me crying in my car and that is nearly as bad as this whole situation, and I barely even knew you then. If Allison and you treated me like we all did to you these past few weeks, I would barricade my door and never talk to any of you again. And don’t take this as I want you to be mad, but I just don’t understand.”

I smile down at her and kiss her softly just because I can.

She gives me a smile as I back up and her eyes have a special twinkle I hadn’t noticed before now.

“First, as far as Scott goes, there is no one harder on him than himself, between the kick in the ass last night and the night to stew in it, the point got across. And when I looked him in the eyes this morning, I was able to let go of my anger because...because despite how he treated me I trust Scott as much as anyone. I know that if I really mean as much to him as he says I do; he won’t need any other push to correct his behavior because he will choose to make the change. If he doesn’t, I shouldn’t have someone like that around me anyways.”

“But what about me? How can you…?”

She doesn’t need to finish her thought to get her question across.

“Lydia, I’m going to be honest with you, last night, I was furious at both of you. But I’m terrified right now. I can’t tell you the last time I got a full nights sleep. And even when I do sleep, I don’t rest because I’m either terrified of getting nightmares or terrified of the nightmares I’m getting. Those thoughts don’t go away when I wake up, they follow me around like a dark cloud. But this morning, I saw you kneeling there in front of me and I just couldn’t be angry at you. I love you too much. Then I was holding you in my arms and for the first time since the sacrifice, I was calm. Being with you...it just...it is not just emotional tether either, it is a safety that comes with being in the arms of the person you love more than anyone or anything…”

I am barely able to finish my sentence before Lydia pounces on me again, with a passionate kiss.

It takes me a second but shortly my surprise wears off and I match her passion while she pushes me back to lean on the counter.

When we separate, I see the admiration and love shining in her eyes.

“I love you too, so much,” she says to me out of breath. “Don’t ever leave me.”

“Never,” I say to her quietly.

We may have only gotten together that morning and we both may still be in high school, but our relationship is so much deeper, our connection deeper, than anyone can understand.

“Good. Because if you ever leave me, I will literally go out of my freaking mind,” she says repeating my own words back to me.

I kiss her again at hearing the words.

This one not as deep or as passionate as the last one, but more slow and loving.

We hear my Dad come trotting down the stairs and separate a little, but I clasp our hands together and pull her so she up against my side to keep her from going far, my arm around her shoulders.

Dad and Scott walk into the kitchen at the same time.

“How long does it take to grab a backpack dude?” I question realizing how long Scott had disappeared.

He chuckled.

“Well I ran out to the car but it was locked, so ran to grab the keys which I couldn’t find...it was a whole thing, trust me, you do not want to hear about it,” he says in exasperation earning small chuckles from the rest of the group.

“Lydia, you ready to go?”

Lydia nods her head at him.

She turns and we meet in a short chaste kiss.

“Remember to use flour!” she calls over her shoulder as she disappears into the living room with Dad.

Scott laughs and I let out a big sigh.

“That is not going away soon,” I say under my breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter...Lydia and Stilinski go to the store


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Stilinski chat while running errands and Stiles finds peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!!

**Lydia POV**

The Sheriff climb into my little Toyota as I turn the keys in the ignition.

The radio pops on as I start to pull away in the direction of my house.

We ride in a peace, the only sounds coming from the radio.

Before too long we pull into my driveway.

“You can stay here if you want, I shouldn’t be too long,” I say to him as I climb out of the car.

“Sounds good! Take your time,” he says as I shut the door.

I walk briskly to the front door and unlock it.

When I walk into my room, I take a deep breath as I realize how much has changed since I have been in here.

A sly smile crosses my face as my thoughts return to Stiles.

I shake my head out as my thoughts take an R rated turn and I can feel my body responding to them.

I head over to my closest and grab one of my old backpacks to pile clothes into.

I grab a few different outfits and carefully fold them and place them in the bag, then go to my dresser and pull out some PJ’s and stuff them in the bag.

Once I have grabbed  _ everything,  _ I need for staying at the Stilinski house for a couple days, I end up with two backpacks worth of stuff.

I make my way to the front door and outside.

I can see the sheriff let out a laugh when he sees the two bags.

He gives me a look as I climb back into the car and throw the bags in the back.

I shrug at him and say, “I couldn’t decide what I wanted to wear,” nonchalantly.

He just smiles as I set off in the direction of the supermarket.

After a few more minutes of silence he turns down the radio.

“So, what do we need to get?” he asks.

“I don’t know, it is your house, do you have anything for the dinner already?”

“Let’s just assume, we do not have anything that we will need,” he says with a half laugh.

I laugh in response.

“Well, we are having pasta with cream sauce, garlic bread and a salad, right?” I ask.

“Yes, that is the plan.”

“Well, first we need to decide what kind of pasta…”

By the time we arrive at the supermarket, we have a pretty good idea of everything that we will need.

We both climb out of the car and head into the store.

As we move throughout the store, it isn’t awkward like I thought it might be. Our conversations and laughter flow nicely.

It reminds me of the times from when I was little that me and my Dad would always go to the supermarket on the weekends.

A smile comes on my face as I peruse the pasta aisle at the memory.

As I’m looking to try and find the pappardelle when I hear a male voice come from beside.

“Oh, Lydia! I didn’t expect to see you hear!”

I turn to see Steven, same grade as me, who is on the lacrosse team. But ever since Jackson split town has been trying to get into my pants.

I try not to roll my eyes but fail as I turn back to the pasta, trying not to pay him any attention.

“Yeah, just grabbing some groceries,” I say as I spot the pappardelle.

Steven has never been displeasing to the eye, but I have always gotten a weird, kind of creepy vibe from, so I have always kept my distance from him.

I lean down a little to grab the pasta and put it in the cart.

I still don’t look at him in the eyes as I try to move my cart, only for it to be stopped.

“Hey, leaving so soon,” he says with a smile, which only makes my stomach roll in disgust.

My patience wearing thin, I try to move it to the cart to the side.

“Look I got to go,” I say trying to push past him, but he stops me again.

“What? Are you getting bored of me already?” he asked with a smirk again.

“I was bored of your presence even before you even got here today,” I fired at him.

He is about to respond but a deep voice from behind him cuts him off.

“I believe the lady asked you to move,” I hear the Sheriff say and I let out a relieved sigh.

Steven turned and saw the Sheriff and his face paled.

“Sheriff...we were...we were just...we just having a conversation…” Steven stammered out.

“I’m aware, but I believe the conversation ended a few minutes ago. Now I don’t want to arrest anyone for harassment today, so here is what you are going to do. You are going to drop that basket, turn around and walk out of this store and you are going to wait out there until you see us exit the store and drive away, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes...yes sir…,” he stammered out.

Sheriff looked at him for a couple seconds but when it seemed the boy was too scared to move; he spoke up again.

“I’m not handing out invitations son, get moving.”

Steven stopped the basket and scrambled backwards before turning and practically took off running towards the exit.

The Sheriff's scowl disappears, and the fatherly posture returns as we connect eyes.

“You okay?”

I shake my head and smile gratefully at him.

“I know that you can fight your own battles, you have proven that many times, but it seemed like he wasn’t getting the hint, plus, I’m getting hungry so I wanted to move it along,” he said smiling at me which brings a big laugh from my mouth.

“Well, let’s not delay any longer then! Let’s go!”

We pay and load up the car before heading back towards the house.

After a few seconds of silence, I clear my throat and glance over at him.

“Thank you for what you did,” I say quietly.

He looks at me with a small warm smile.

“When I see things like that happen, I just silently weep for my gender because we can be real dicks,” he says, a lighthearted tone to his voice.

“Well, not all of you are so bad,” I say with a smile. “ And it’s not like there aren’t some bad female apples as well.”

“True.”

We return to comfortable silence and I turn back on the radio.

_ Why is he so comfortable? I just started dating his son and before that was ignoring him for three weeks, why is he not more angry or at least suspicious? _

The question continues to rattle around in my head and before I know it, I’m pulling up next to the Stilinski house.

Before he can reach for the door, I stop him with my voice.

“Sheriff?”

He looks at me curiously.

“Please just call me Noah.”

I give him a smile.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why...Why are you...you seem pretty okay with the...shift in mine and Stiles’ relationship, even though I have not always treated him well, especially over the last couple weeks. I guess my question is why are you so okay with all this?”

He gives me a knowing smile.

“I’ve always liked you Lydia, even back when you were pretending to be an empty-headed teenager, you still had a certain air of confidence that wouldn’t normally be in someone as young as you are. Now I know that Stiles has liked you for a long time, sometimes a little too much,” he says with a smirk.

I smile as well thinking about the borderline obsession Stiles of just a few years ago

“But when I see the two of you together, do you know who you two remind me of?”

I shake my head no.

“Claudia and me.”

I look at him in shock.

“The chemistry you two share is undeniable, you bicker, you get into small pointless debates just because you can, you keep each other safe, and you make a great team.”

I smile at him, some of my worry dissipating.

“I’m okay with it, for two reasons, one there is no one that makes my son happier than you do,” the statement makes me blush and drop his gaze. “And secondly, I believe that there will never be anyone better, more challenging, or more perfect for Stiles, than you. There are certain people that will always have a hold on your heart, and if your lucky they will always be in your life. But even if they are not, they will always be with you for a lifetime because they are that special to you. I hope you and Stiles are able to get that. A Lifetime, together. ”

I feel myself blush.

The logical side of my mind is screaming at me to be scared at the insinuation of his statement. That the idea of being with Stiles for a lifetime should be scary and make me draw away. But despite our relationship being hours old, for the first time when I envision my future, I see Stiles.

“Thank you, Sher--Noah,” I say.

“I hope that I didn’t freak you out, your relationship did only start this morning,” he said trying to lighten the mood.

I laugh lightly.

“No, you didn’t. Come on, we better head in,” I say, and we start climbing out the car.

I sling one backpack over my shoulder and the Sheriff takes the other one, then we each take half of the bags and head in.

He unlocks the door and we both dump my backpacks on the couch then continue into the kitchen.

When we walk into the kitchen, Scott is sitting at the table doing homework and Stiles is just pulling cookies from the oven.

“We’re back!” Stilinski announces as we walk into the room and place our bags down on the counter.

“Hey, there you guys are! I was starting to wonder what was taking so long!” Stiles says as he puts the  cookies onto the stove to cool.

“Yeah sorry, we got caught talking so it took a little longer than expected,” I say as I walk over towards him.

“Hmm, what about?”

I glance over at Stilinski who gives me a smirk.

“Groceries and life,” he says to his son with a grin.

Stiles laughs at the answer before leaning down and grabbing out a cooling rack from a cupboard below him.

I turn towards the bags and start rifling through them and sorting them out on the counter.

“How’s the homework coming Scott?” I hear Noah ask.

Scott groans as he looks up from his notebook.

“It's going okay, seems like a lot still to do, but it’s coming along,” Scott replies.

“Yeah, he did well, the only time he wasn’t working was when he was calling Allison,” Stiles says as he scoops the cookies off the tray.

“Everything good with her?” I ask Scott.

“Oh yeah, just filling her in on everything,” Scott says with a relieved sigh.

“I hope you two don’t mind but I told Allison she should join us,” Stiles says.

“No, that is a great idea!” Stilinski says. “I’m glad she will be able to make it.”

Stilinski look at his watch and lets out a sigh.

“What time is dinner?” he asks.

“I told mom and Allison dinner will be at 6,” Scott says.

I look at the on the microwave and see  _ 2:57. _

“Well, I have some paperwork I need to do, so I think I will go knock that out, then I can come and help make dinner,” Stilinski says.

“Don’t bother, we can handle it,” I say glancing back at Stiles with a smile who returns it.

“Yeah, you focus, we got this. I mean we made some kick ass pancakes this morning, did we not,” Stiles says with a huge smile earning laughs from the rest of us.

“All right, well I will be up in my office if any of you need anything,” he says and disappears through the door.

* * *

 

 

**Stiles POV**

I smile as I look around the table.

Allison, Scott and Melissa are across from me, Lydia and Dad.

Mine and Lydia’s hands are clasped together underneath the table while Melissa was talking about a patient that had come into the emergency room with a screwdriver up his ass.

As I listen, I take a deep breath in contentment.

Lydia glances over at me at the noise and smiles at me.

We had spent the afternoon playing some board games with Scott, before he got back to his never-ending pile of homework, while me and Lydia made dinner.

Scott disappeared into the living room shortly after we started cooking.

I’m sure all the messing around and giggling made concentrating difficult.

We both buzzed around the kitchen getting everything prepared.

We laughed, made silly jokes, her smile radiating off her face in a look of love and joy. We stole kisses from one another, each kiss sending me into a state of pure bliss.

We even got into a minor food fight after I flung some butter at her, but we got everything cleaned up before anyone discovered the mess.

It was hands down one of the best afternoons of my life.

Scott keeps glancing over at me, as if he is worried that if he looks away, my contentment will be replaced with anger once again.

But each time I send him a nod or small smile which he returns.

The food we made was appreciated and enjoyed by everyone and earned us both praise from everyone at the table.

Dad and Melissa volunteer to do the clean-up, after the cookies I had made were brought over and we the six of us decimated the 16 I made. Not being needed, me, Lydia, Allison and Scott all head to the living room to watch some TV, each couple taking a couch.

It is weird to think of Lydia that way.

_ Couple. _

Without even thinking about it, I sit down on the couch, Lydia grabs a blanket, then plops down right beside me and snuggles against my side as she covers us in the blanket.

I am in a relationship with the Lydia Martin.

Just the thought brings a feeling of pure joy into my heart and smile growing on my face. As Scott flips through the channels, I glance at Lydia next to me and our eyes meet, her eyes lighting up and sparkling in a way that only hers do.

I bring my hand under chin to lift her head up and tilt my head down to bring our lips together. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds before we separate, both conscious that our two best friends are less than 5 feet away.

I wrap my arm around Lydia and pull her tighter against my side, not wanting to let go anytime soon. I turn and try focus on the TV, which Scott has turned to  _ The Office  _ reruns, but I am distracted as Lydia’s places her head on my shoulder and breathes in simple contentment and ease...

After a few minutes, I can feel my eyelids start to get heavy, but I force myself to remain awake out of fear for what could be waiting for me behind my eyelids.

It is about 20 minutes before Dad and Melissa emerge from the kitchen.

“Alright, this has been really fun, and I am really glad we did this. We should do it again soon, but I should probably head out, Scott you coming?” Melissa asks.

“Yep! Just let me grab my stuff,” Scott replies getting up from the couch.

“Allison, do you want me to give you a ride home or do you want to ride with Scott on his death trap?” Melissa asked.

Allison laughed at the question as she stood.

She glanced over at me and Lydia.

Lydia and her locked eyes and seemed to have a silent conversation before Allison looked back up at Melissa.

“Non-death trap transportation sounds good to me,” Allison said teasingly as Scott came back into the room.

I see Scott stop by my Dad and whisper something into his ear and Dad says something back but because I am human, I cannot hear what they are saying.

I disentangle myself from Lydia and immediately feel a lot colder.

As Scott and Dad finish their conversation, Scott looks up at me.

“I know you said you have forgiven me, but I just want to say again, I am sorry for everything,” he says to me quietly.

I give him a small smile and pull him in for a hug.

“I know you are, that’s why I can forgive you and trust that it won’t happen again like this,” I whisper in his ear.

He steps back and looks me in the eyes.

“Never again,” he says sternly, which makes me smile more brightly at him.

We walk the other three to the door and all exchange good nights.

I connect eyes with Allison, and she gives me a thankful smile as I nod in return.

“We’ll see you guys at school Monday,” Lydia calls out to them as we shut the door behind them.

“The kitchen is all cleaned up and I don’t know about you two, but I’m pretty tired so I am going to head to bed,” Dad says to the pair of us.

I pull him into a hug before he has a chance to head up the stairs.

“Thank you,” I whisper in his ear.

“Anytime. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We separate and he glances over at Lydia who has her eyes down.

“Sleep well and I will see you two in the morning.”

With that and a small smirk at Lydia who started up the stairs.

“Based on the fact that you almost fell asleep on the couch, I’m guessing you’re ready for bed,” Lydia says to me with a smile.

I return it but just not as bright.

“Did you bring your laptop?” I ask her to which she shakes her head yes.

“We can throw on some Netflix in my room, if you want.”

“Sounds perfect.”

We both scamper upstairs and into my room.

As she searches her bag for her laptop and I assuming PJ’s I plug in my phone and make my way to my dresser.

I open up my pajamas drawer and pull out pants and an old T-Shirt.

I jump slightly at the feeling of small hands snaking up my back but then quickly relax as I remember who is on the room with me.

“Can I borrow a shirt for bed?” she asks, an almost teasing sound in her voice.

“Did you seriously go to your house, go to your house, pack two bags full of clothes and forget pajamas?” I ask with a laugh.

She grins at me smugly and leans in closer, her scent intoxicating and it takes all I have not to kiss her senseless right then.

“No, I remembered them, but I thought I might be most comfortable in a pair of panties and one of your T-Shirts. Are you saying that you want to deny me that comfort?” she says dropping her voice as she gets closer to my lips.

My resolve breaks and slam my lips onto hers.

I slip our positioning and pin her against my dresser, keeping constant deep pressure on her lips, predatorily. She is responding with as much enthusiasm and when I move my tongue into her mouth she groans in pleasure.

I bite down on her bottom lip, almost like marking my territory, and she squeals in surprise before deepening the kiss again, pushing back up against me, her chest smashed and moving against mine, a part of me poking Lydia just above the hips.

Pretty soon we separate only because we need air and as stare into each other’s eyes, only the sound of our breathing filling the room.

“Wow…” I breath out, not really able to form a complete sentence.

“I know…” she responds just as out of breath.

“And to answer your question, no, I definitely do not want to deny you that comfort,” I say to her, still breathing hard.

She chuckles at my response and brings us together for another kiss.

“Should I choose a shirt, or do you want to choose one for me?” she asks with a huge smile.

“Your choice,” I say back to her.

I step out of her embrace and throw the clothes I had picked out onto my bed.

I hear my dresser drawer open and close as I turn around to see her holding one of my lacrosse shirts.

“I’ll be right back,” she says as she disappears into my bathroom to change and wind down for the night.

“I throw on my PJ’s and set-up Lydia’s laptop on a table that I dragged over so we can easily see and access the screen.

I browse through the options and land on the movie  _ Bee Movie. _

I hear my bathroom door open and I look back to see Lydia exiting the bathroom.

My mouth falls open as I am floored by the tremendous site in front of me.

My mind is blown as THE Lydia Martin is standing in my room, wearing only one of my T-Shirts that comes down to just about her mid-thigh.

“Don’t stare Stiles, it’s rude,” she says with a teasing smile on her face as she walks slowly over towards the bed.

“Don’t look like that, and I won’t,” I fire back at her still in awe at the perfection in front of me.

“Are you saying you want me to look worse Stiles Stilinski?” she asks getting closer.

I scoff in disbelief at her.

“I’m saying, if you ever want to do anything productive in the future, don’t dress like that,” I breath out, which makes her laugh.

She pulls back the covers and climbs in beside me and pushes herself against me.

“What movie did you pick?” she asks with a smile.

“I thought we would go the Seinfeld route and went the Bee Movie,” I say matching her smile.

“Great choice,” she says.

She turns so she is facing away from and towards the TV.

She leans forward and hits play on the movie before moving back towards me.

She pushes herself back, so her ass placed perfectly against my hips, my member resting hard against her ass.

As I wrap my arms around her and hug tightly to me, she giggles and starts wiggling her hips a little bit just to drive me nuts.

“Seems like someone is not quite ready to go to bed,” Lydia points out, wiggling her hips again.

A deep groan escapes my lips which makes her laugh as we fall into a relative silence while watching the movie.

I shake my head a couple times to stay awake, still terrified about what could be lurking behind my eyelids.

“Stiles, your exhausted, you should really let yourself go to sleep,” Lydia says from in between my arms.

I shake my head no, which makes her turn around and face me, the movie forgotten. She is looking me in the eyes, our hands locked together in between us as she listens.

“I can’t be going to sleep,” I say quiet and vulnerable. “I don’t have control when I sleep, that is when the nightmares come and there is nothing, I can do to stop them.”

I feel tears start to well in my eyes.

Lydia brings her hands to behind my head brings me down for a short, sweet, loving kiss.

When we break apart, I stare into her eyes to see love and admiration and concern staring back at me.

“Listen to me Stiles. I love you and I hate to see you so hurt and scared and not able to do anything to prevent it. Especially because you have done that exact thing for me, more times than I care to admit. Even if you weren’t there, there were times when the only thing that kept me sane was when I pictured your concerned and beautiful face staring at me. Or I would imagine when you would have no idea what I was, what I could do, but you simply say to me, ‘it will be okay,’ and you are the only person who could say that, and I always genuinely believed it.”

My scared tears are replaced by happy ones as she speaks, and I can see the truth of her words in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

“I am not going to promise you that it will get better right away or that you won’t have a nightmare. But the one thing I can promise is that whenever that happens, I will wake you up and hold you, kiss you or just simply stare into your eyes until you believe that you are okay. Whenever something like that happens, I promise, that I will  _  always  _ be right here by your side, waiting for the man I love.”

I bring her into a loving kiss.

“I love you too.” I whisper to her.

I bring her so we are chest to chest and basically a giant clump of limbs entangled in one another.

I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes.

As I begin to drift off, I know that tonight, for the first in a long time, I know that I am going to sleep all the way through night and will not have a single nightmare visit me.

All because of 5-foot 3 strawberry blonde girl in my arms.

I hear her let out a deep breath of contentment as we both drift off into our dreams of our future, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Again!


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